Dark side of the Moon
by Ami Rotter
Summary: Tonks is in love with Remus Lupin but he won't accept it. Will he eventually give in or will she give up?
1. Hi I'm Nymphdora Tonks

Hi, my name is Nymphadora Tonks, but please call me Tonks. I swear my mum was high when she gave me my name. If you want to live to see the light of day, I advise you to call me Tonks.

Right now I am sitting on the end of my bed. I am waiting for Dumbledore to arrive. He is going to take me to an Order of the Phoenix meeting. I can't believe Dumbledore thought that I was actually good enough to join the Order. I am so nervous right now because Dumbledore hasn't told me anything. I hope that everyone likes me, I hope that maybe I might even know someone there.

Where the hell is Dumbledore? He said he would be here five minutes ago. It's not like Dumbledore to be late. Now I'm worrying. Suddenly I hear a loud crack that almost makes me fall off my bed. Well, when I say almost, I mean I actually did fall on the floor. That's another thing, I am very clumsy. I could fall over thin air, which I already have managed to do.

I look up from my position on the floor to see a grinning Dumbledore standing over me.

"Sorry I'm late, but I can see you were busy anyway." He said, gesturing towards me, still sitting on the floor. "But I'm afraid you're going to have to stand up now, that is an awkward position to apparate in." I eventually get up off the floor.

"So where exactly are we going?" I ask, desperately wanting to know.

"I cannot divulge that sort of information to you quite yet." Dumbledore said wagging his finger at me as if I was a little child who had just asked where babies come from. "We are going to have to side along apparate, since you have never been to our destination."

I took hold of Dumbledore's arm. This felt a bit weird he used to be my headmaster. Anywho, we eventually arrived at wherever we were supposed to be. I looked up and down the street, it was quite dark and all the houses seemed to be quite nice.

"So, where are we going?" I asked Dumbledore, who was rummaging in his pocket. He didn't say anything to me, he just handed me a piece of paper. I looked at the paper, which had 'The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number 12, Grimmauld Place, London.' written on it. Well there was my answer the only problem was when I looked up there was no number 12. There was an 11 and a 13, even a number 14, but no number 13. Suddenly out of nowhere a house appeared between 11 and 13.

"Come on, we are late. The meeting has already started." I followed Dumbledore into the tall shabby looking house. "Everybody is in the kitchen, I will introduce you after the meeting has finished."

I just nodded and followed him towards the kitchen. I didn't quite make the entrance that I had planned on. I had planned on walking in, looking very businesslike. I wanted people to take me seriously. Normally, people never do. Instead of looking business like, I managed to trip over my own feet and fall flat on my nose.

That's just what I needed; to embarrass myself in front of the entire order. A hand reached out and helped me up. I looked at the face of the helper for a while. I knew I recognised him, but I couldn't remember from where. He had matted black hair, quite tall and unshaven. After what seemed like an age, it clicked, it was cousin Sirius.

I jumped back, what the hell was he doing here? He should be in Azkaban! How can everybody stand here normally, while he is in the room?

"You're… you're Sirius Black." I stuttered. Come on, pull yourself together, you're an auror!

"It's okay Tonks, Sirius is innocent. He lives here and helps the Order." Dumbledore told me.

"Oh." I didn't really know what else to say, it was all a bit of a shock.

"Right, now shall we begin the meeting?" Dumbledore spoke I found the nearest chair to me and sat down. My head was still spinning from the meeting, Sirius, and possibly a bit from falling on my face.


	2. Meeting the order

The meeting took about an hour, which I didn't mind 'cause it was really interesting. That just might be because I'm a dork, but it's making me feel like I'm a secret agent.

I found out that I would be doing a shift at the ministry, to guard one of the rooms in the Department of Mysteries. I didn't know with whom though, or when. Dumbledore said he would tell me after the meeting, when he had sorted it out.

When the meeting finished, Dumbledore invited me up to the end of the table. I felt a bit uncomfortable standing at the end of the table in front of all those people. I looked around at everyone. Their eyes were all fixed on me. I noticed that because of my nervousness, my hair had started changing colour. I managed to control it and it went back to my normal colour, pink. Well, I say normal, but pink isn't really a normal colour, it's just a colour I like better than my natural one.

"Right everyone, we have a new member." Dumbledore's voice interrupted my inner ramblings and brought me back to the real world. "This is Nymphadora Tonks; she is an auror at the ministry. She will be helping us with some of our missions. I hope that you will make her feel welcome." I hated it when Dumbledore called me Nymphadora, but I couldn't really do much about it.

I suddenly noticed everyone was waiting for me to say something. My cheeks suddenly flushed red; I had been off in my own little world.

"It's nice to be here, everybody can call me Tonks. I'm not really fond of my name blame my mum for that one. I hope that I don't cause too much hassle and that you enjoy working with me. I'll do my best." Oh God, shut up Tonks! You're rambling again. "Yeah, that's it really."

I sat down feeling completely embarrassed. I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. I wish I knew when to shut up.

"Right, well that's it. I think it's time for some of Molly's pumpkin pasty." Dumbledore said, rubbing his hands together.

I didn't really know what to do, I didn't really know anyone. I could see Arthur Weasley he worked in the ministry and Kingsley Shacklebolt, my boss. That was really it though, no one else. Oh, I feel like a spare wheel right now.

Suddenly I got this tap on the shoulder I almost fell off of my seat in fright. I turned around and saw this man who looked like he was in his mid thirties, dressed in shabby clothing. He looked a little creepy to be honest. My cousin Sirius was standing right behind him. I was still finding it hard to grasp that he was innocent and wasn't in Azkaban.

"Hi, my name is Remus Lupin it's nice to meet you." He extended his hand, I took it. I couldn't really do much else, why couldn't there be younger people here. Sirius stepped in front of Remus, I took a step back.

"Tonks don't worry, I didn't do anything. I'm innocent." He said, with a half smile on his face.

"So the ministry has let you out of Azkaban?" I said, curious why it hadn't been in the Daily Prophet.

"Well no, not exactly, they still think I'm guilty. I was freed by Harry and his friend before I got the kiss. I have to stay in this house so no one can see me." Sirius explained. This was a lot to take in, but my cousin was free. That was a good thing, I suppose.

"Oh right, well that's good then." What else was I supposed to say?

"Tonks don't be like that, I never did anything. Dumbledore believes me, why can't you?" Sirius was looking kind of desperate.

"It's not that I don't believe you. I mean you try acting normal when a cousin you thought was a murderer suddenly turns up and he's innocent." I explained. I hoped that I didn't hurt his feelings, but this was hard for me.

"Yeah I suppose, I'll leave it time to sink in then." He walked off looking hurt, I felt so bad.

"It was nice to meet you." Remus said. I'd forgotten he was there, I almost jumped in fright. I gave a weak smile and looked around the room to find someone to talk to. It was then when Molly came towards me with a tray of her pumpkin pasties. Now I knew where I remembered her from, she was Bill's mum. I used to go out with Bill back when we were both in Hogwarts. That would mean that she is married to Arthur. The infamous Molly Weasley, now I knew who she was.

"Ah Tonks dear, you might not remember me, I'm Molly Weasley. Pumpkin pasty." She said, shoving the tray in my face. I took one of them and began to eat it, I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten all day, because I was so nervous about the meeting.

"I remember you, you're Bill's mum." It was probably a mistake to say that.

"You should talk to Bill again, he will be here later. You two made such a lovely couple, maybe after this you two could go for a drink. I'm sure you two lovebirds have a lot to catch up on."

"As much as I liked Bill, we had broken up and grown up.

"Ok whatever you say, but I'm sure of it." Molly said with a slight smile.

Where was Dumbledore when you needed him? I want to know what my duties are. What do they say? 'Speak of the devil and he shall appear.' Well Dumbledore isn't exactly the devil, but he certainly managed to appear out of nowhere.

"Nymphadora." I had to bite my tongue, as much as I wanted to shout at Dumbledore for calling me Nymphadora. "Your duties have been sorted out. Your first shift will be on Saturday, you will be with Remus." Oh God, this is so not going to be interesting. Saturday, that was four days away. I was looking forward to it, but at the same time, I was dreading it.

I decided it was best to go home now, to sort myself out and let everything sink in. I also wanted to leave before Bill got here, I didn't want Molly to be faffing around us trying to get us back together. I said bye to everybody and walked out the door and apparated out of the street.

Well that's how I would have liked it to go, but no, obviously that didn't work. I tripped over a chair leg and landed on my boss, Kingsley. Oh the shame. I stood up as quickly as possible and ran out the door, cheeks flaming red.


	3. The department of mysteries

Saturday had come so quickly. I don't know whether I was looking forward to it, or dreading it. I glanced down at my watch, noticing the time, and quickly apparated to the outside of the ministry. I stood there for a second to compose myself; I wish I hadn't eaten that big dinner.

I jumped in the air at the sound of a pop. It was Remus apparating right next to me. He grinned slightly at me. How dare he laugh at me, I would never laugh at him if he did that, well, actually I probably would, but that's not the point.

"Shall we go in, or shall we stand out here all day?" He said, snapping me out of my train of thought.

"Erm… yeah maybe we should go in." Great one Tonks, you couldn't have thought of something witty to say. Remus lead the way to the phone box, I didn't exactly know how this was going to work so I just followed him.

Walking through the Ministry I noticed how lax the security was, I had never noticed that before. There weren't too many people in the Ministry today, which meant that nobody would be getting too suspicious.

Apparently the Order has been doing this for about a month now, ever since the fight between Harry Potter and you-know-who.

I don't know what we're supposed to be guarding exactly, Dumbledore wouldn't tell me, but you-know-who is supposed to want it. So we have to be on ultimate alert, because a death eater could come around any corner at any time. Before I knew it we were at the Department of Mysteries. I had never been down there before no one was really let down here unless you were an unspeakable.

"So, apart from standing here and waiting to be attacked, what do we do while we're here?" I had to ask, no one had actually told me what we did. I was just told to guard the Department of Mysteries.

"Well, we stay here and then every ten minutes one of us will go and do a round check just to make sure no one is near. If one of us gets in trouble or sees trouble we use this mirror or shout for help, which ever seems appropriate at the time. Dumbledore is developing a better method." We stood at either side of the entrance.

"So erm…" I didn't know what to say, I didn't really know him. I hate being left alone with someone I don't know. "How are you?" What a stupid question!

"I'm good, you?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Well that was riveting. We have to be able to get some sort of conversation going or this is just going to be so boring. "So what do you do when you're not working for the Order?"

"Not much really, I don't have a job. No one will employ me." He looked so sad and dejected, I wanted to hug him.

"Why's that?" I don't know why I asked that, I probably shouldn't have.

"You don't really want to know, most people run away when I tell them." He let out a sigh. I felt worried about what it was, but I also felt sorry for him at the same time.

"I'm sure it can't be that bad." I lied slightly, if it was something really horrible the nicer I was the better.

"Oh it can be." He said as if it was a challenge.

"Try me, I bet you I won't run away." He seemed to struggle with himself before he decided to tell me.

"The thing is," He stopped for a pause, which seemed to take forever, "I'm a werewolf." I didn't expect that.

"I've always wanted to meet a real werewolf they have fascinated me ever since I was little." He seemed a little shocked at the comment; I couldn't see what was so shocking. I mean, yes, some werewolves are bad and some people stay away from them, but he is a nice guy so why would I run away from him? This could be an interesting night after all. I started asking Remus loads of questions, which he didn't mind I almost forgot to do my first rounds.

I felt slightly nervous walking around. I mean I know I'm an auror, but down here is quite creepy and I could be attacked by death eaters at any time. I found nothing though, so I just walked back to the door. We kept doing this for a little while. Time passed by so quickly, Remus wasn't even getting annoyed at all the questions I was asking. Normally most people get annoyed with all the questions, but he seemed happy I was asking him.

"I know this is a kind of personal question, but how old are you?" When he got animated he seemed much younger than he looked, so I got curious and had to ask him.

"I'm 35." I was kind of surprised, because I thought he was older than that. "Is there anything wrong with that?" Damn he must have noticed I was a bit shocked.

"No, nothing, I know this sounds bad, but I thought that you were older than that."

"Oh right, well that's what being a poor werewolf does to you." He looked sad again, I wish I hadn't brought up the subject now.

"Erm, right, well it's my turn to have a look around. So I'll, erm, go and do that." I felt a bit uncomfortable again I thought it was best to stop the subject by leaving for a bit.

I was walking past the entrance to an apparition point, the Ministry let you apparate internally, when I heard a hissing noise. I looked behind me and I couldn't see anything. "Lumos." I tried to see if there was anything a bit further down the corridor, but there was nothing there.

I took the mirror out of my pocket and said Remus to it. Suddenly his face appeared, I jumped back slightly. I had been told how it worked, but it still gave me a surprise when I saw him. "I think there is something here. I'm not sure where, but I can hear a hissing so keep…" I suddenly felt a hard knock on the back of my head. I screamed as I went down. The next thing I remember was Remus' face, but this time for real. He had taken me back to the door and was crouching over me. I could feel this dull throbbing in the back of my head.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, bit sore, but I'm ok." I rubbed the back of my head and was glad to find no bump at all. "Did you see what hit me?"

"No, by the time I got there, there wasn't anything in the corridor." He looked at me apologetically. It was an uneventful night after that brief incident. I rushed home to get about three hours sleep before I had to get up and go to work, I was doing extra work.

*

I had to be woken up again, for the fifth time I keep falling asleep on my pile of parchments. I don't mind too much, because I'm doing it for a good cause. If the Ministry are too stupid to realise that you-know-who is back then somebody has to do something. I want to be that somebody, albeit, with a few other somebodies. We have another meeting in a couple of days I hope that I get something a bit more interesting next time.

It wasn't too bad with Remus he was a nice guy once you got to chatting with him. I think he needs a girlfriend, someone who loves him he's not my type of guy though.

Suddenly an owl came flying through the open window and dropped a letter on my desk. I paid him and picked it up, it was a letter from cousin Sirius. He wanted me to come to the house before the next Order meeting. I wonder what he wants.


	4. Sirius

I was off to cousin Sirius', I was a bit apprehensive about going. I hadn't really spoken to him since I was little. The last thing I had heard of him before the last meeting was that he was a murderer. I know Dumbledore trusts him, but I need to get to know the new Sirius before I can trust him.

I arrived outside Grimmauld place it still looked as shabby as ever. When I knocked on the door there was this sudden screaming, I fell back on my bum in fright. I was surprised when I saw Remus answer the door. He looked down at me and chuckled.

"I hope you're not laughing at me Mr Lupin." I said taking his hand and hauling myself up.

"I'm afraid I was Miss Tonks. Why were you on the floor anyway?" He continued smiling.

"That woman screaming frightened the life out of me." I looked around to see where the screaming had come from. I saw a set of curtains on the wall, to the right hand side of the door. "What are these for?" I asked Remus as I went over to open them.

"They're to cover the picture of Sirius' mum."

"Why don't you just take the picture down?" I asked confused. Normally if I didn't like something I would get rid of it.

"We've tried, but it just won't go. It's just stuck to… NO don't open the curtains!" Remus came flying at me, I screamed when he pulled me away. Suddenly the curtains flew back and the woman in the picture started screaming.

"Oh my God, why would someone want to stick her on a wall?" I screamed she was just as I remembered her. I was always glad that she had never been my mum.

"The curtains are there to keep her quiet." Remus explained. I felt a bit stupid now that I had opened them, well attempted to. Suddenly Sirius came running down the stairs, looking annoyed.

"Who the hell opened those curtains!"

"Sorry that would be me. I didn't know that was going to happen." Why did I always have to embarrass myself when I'm in front of people? You would think for once I could just not fall over or not touch anything.

"Oh hi Tonks, it's ok, you weren't to know." I could see he was still annoyed, but he was being kind for my benefit. "Do you want something to drink at all? Please come in to the kitchen." He seemed to be trying really hard, but why?

"Yeah sure, some pumpkin juice would be nice." I followed him to the kitchen, which seemed bigger now there were less people in it. Remus went upstairs.

"It's so nice having a member of the family I can talk to. Not many of them do anyway, but the ones that do don't know I'm here. We can't tell anyone outside the Order, just in case they tell someone." He looked really sad as he said this.

"I'm sure my mother wouldn't tell anyone. Anyway, why would you want to talk to anyone else in the family? The people in the order are a much better family." I could see him rummaging through the cupboard trying to find the pumpkin juice.

"I know, but most of them are only here when there is a meeting. The only people who are here regularly are Remus and Molly. She has become my new mother, always checking up on me." He smiled. He looked older than his age, much like Remus, because of his stay in Azkaban. When he smiled he looked like a much younger man.

"Well I can come and visit, it would be nice catching up. We didn't really get much time to know each other." He smiled again. I felt so sorry for him, being stuck up in this house and not being able to go and talk to people. It was like being in prison again for him.

"Yeah that would be nice you can help keep Remus company too. You know he fancies you." Sirius seemed to perk up a little.

"I'm sure he doesn't, anyway I'm too young for him." I felt a bit uncomfortable with this conversation. I mean Remus was a nice man, but he just wasn't my type. I normally went for people who had a bit more flare and unpredictability to their personality.

"Are you saying that us older men aren't capable of keeping up with you lot." He said in a posh voice. I could see he was trying to keep a straight face.

"No of course not I'm just saying the age gap we might be interested in completely different things. The music now is different to how it was then." I laughed it was nice to see Sirius how I remembered he was.

"Ah, now I see what you're saying. Were out of touch with society, were old fogies. We'll I have some news for you missy, we're not." I couldn't help laughing I was never able to keep him seriously.

"All I'm saying is I couldn't possibly be his type, we are so different."

"Well I think you are, he keeps talking about you." He put the glass of pumpkin juice down in front of me and sat down.

"Has he actually said that he fancies me?" I wasn't sure if this was one of Sirius' wind ups.

"Well not in so many words, but it's obvious."

"What's obvious?" Remus said as he walked in to the room.

"Oh nothing, just that you fancy my cousin Tonks here." Remus' face went bright red, as did mine. I wish Sirius had said nothing, I would have kicked him, but he was too far away. The silence seemed to go on forever before Remus finally spoke.

"Right, well I think I've got some work to do. I'll see you later Padfoot." Remus shuffled out of the room, he couldn't even look at me. Once he was out of the room I hit Sirius in the arm.

"Why did you do that it was mean."

"He'll be fine, I was just proving a point. He wouldn't have gone that colour if it wasn't true." He said as if it was the most important issue ever.

"Even if it is true, you shouldn't do that. I hope you apologize for that, it was mean." I protested knowing it would probably do no use.

"Ok I will, he will tell me off later anyway." He laughed.

"Why did he call you Padfoot?" I asked, I vaguely remember that name from when I was younger.

"It's my nickname we have always called each other by them. I'm Padfoot, he's Moony, and James was Prongs." He trailed off towards the end of the sentence.

"How did you get those names?" I asked they were slightly weird so I wanted to know.

"We were anamagi, well me and James were. Moony was a werewolf, he did tell you that didn't he?" He asked me hoping he hadn't put his foot in it. I nodded and he continued. "I was a dog and James was a stag hence prongs."

"How come I didn't know this?" I felt hurt he had never told me when I was younger.

"We didn't go broadcasting it around. We weren't registered, Dumbledore didn't know until recently." He said sheepishly.

"That reminds me I must see Dumbledore. I think he is organising a mission for me." At least I hoped so I wanted to do some real work. He looked sad now, I didn't want to leave, I was enjoying the conversation, but I had to see Dumbledore.

"Ok, I will see you soon." He gave me a hug before I turned to leave; suddenly I had a great thought.

"You know we should go out for a walk sometime, get you out of the house." I smiled at him.

"I can't do that though, if people see me I'll have to go back there." He said with a look of terror at the thought of Azkaban.

"Yeah but you could go out as a dog." I said, shocked that he hadn't had the idea himself.

"You would do that for me? I always suggested it to Remus, but he said it was too risky." He was beaming now. I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"It'll be our little secret." I said and left. I couldn't believe how nice he was and people had been branding him as murderer. Once I was outside I apparated to the place I was meeting Dumbledore.


	5. My first mission

I was meeting Dumbledore in Hogsmead, in the Three Broomsticks. I was curious about what Dumbledore was going to get me to do. It was weird going behind the back of the ministry. I first joined the Ministry because I respected it, but now, after everything, I have lost all respect for the Minister of Magic.

Dumbledore was sitting inconspicuously in the corner of the pub, he wasn't in his normal clothes, which would have stood out like a sore thumb. I walked over and sat down opposite him and waited for him to speak.

"I couldn't ask you at the meeting about this as it is highly secret. This is one of the reasons I asked you to join the order. I believe we have a leak in the order and I need you to find them." He told me directly.

"How come you've chosen me?" I was confused, I would have thought he would choose someone with more experience.

"I need someone I know isn't the leak. The leak was there before you joined so I know it isn't you. I need you to be highly secretly about this, I don't want to risk people finding out."

"Who are they leaking to? Is it you-know-who?" I was scared now, if someone was leaking to you-know-who then we were in big trouble.

"No I don't think we have anyone informing Voldemort." I flinched. I knew always said his name, but I could never stop myself. "I think they are informing the Ministry. We have had a few interruptions in some of our missions. They all seem too much of a coincidence. We haven't been found out yet, but we will soon if this informant isn't found."

This whole thing was a shock to me, who could it be. I hoped it wasn't Remus. I'd hate to lose him as a friend, he's so sweet. It couldn't really be Sirius, because the Ministry are looking for him so they can capture him.

"Do you have any ideas to who it could be." I thought my Dumbledore could give me some help to start off with.

"I have a few theories of my own, but I wouldn't like to influence you in any way in your decisions. There is no solid evidence pointing towards anyone in particular. That's what I need you to find, I will give you a list of all the people who took part in each mission for the past four months and when the interruptions occurred. That is the best help I can give you."

He passed me a piece of paper with loads of names on it. I put it in my pocket so I could look at it later.

"I'll get looking at this when I get home."

"There is just one more thing there is a muggle bar, called Strand 58, we think that some of the Death Eaters have meetings there. I need you to get a job there so you can try and get some information. They are asking for some new bar staff. You will need to change your appearance so that there is no chance that anyone will recognise you."

"Is there anything specifically I need to change myself in to?" I asked wandering if I needed to look like anyone in particular.

"No, it is up to you. Nothing that stands out too much, I need you to be able to blend in. I can't have the Death Eaters paying too much attention to you. You need to be able to sneak around and listen in without them noticing you too much." Dumbledore explained.

"Ok, when do you need me to start?" I suddenly felt so important I had a real mission that I could talk to people in the order about. Yay, I was officially a member.

"I need you to get the job as soon as possible. Now I need you to go home and look over those names see if you can get any leads. Make sure you are not found out in either mission." I said goodbye to Dumbledore and apparated home from outside.

I sat on the couch thinking about everything for a second. I looked at the list of names, there were so many. I didn't know how I was going to manage all of this and my normal job. This was going to be hard work. I didn't even know how I was going to start this whole thing. I thought that maybe I might sort out that job Dumbledore wanted me to get.

I stared at the mirror for several moments, trying to figure out what I was going to look like. The first thing I changed was my hair, it went down just down past my shoulders and it was a mousy brown. My nose then became smaller, my face changed from a heart shape to a slightly rounded one. I decided the change my height so I was smaller, so I would blend in better.

It took me almost an hour to find this club, it was in the corner of a dead end street. I had a piece of paper in my hand. Among the things that Dumbledore had given me was a CV. I had a reference on it too, which happened to be Remus.

"Excuse me I am here about the job." I felt a bit nervous. I know I am an arour, but this was different it wouldn't just be me who got in trouble if I got found out. The whole order could get in trouble as well.

"Could you just take a seat and I will be with you in a moment." She gestured at the tables and chairs behind me. I looked around. It was quite busy, people were mostly eating and some were drinking. I found an empty seat and waited for the woman to come over and talk to me.

"Right so, can I have a look at your CV please." She spent a little while looking over the CV. "So why did you leave your last job?" Oh crap why did she have to ask that, what happens if she rings Remus and he gives a different reason.

"Well… I just wanted a different experience really. I felt I had run my time there." That sounded good, didn't it? I hope that was alright. I'd only ever done one job interview and that was for becoming an auror.

"Right, how much experience have you had with tills and pulling pints?"

"I used to have a job in my dad's shop so I had a lot of experience with tills. I haven't had much experience with the drinks side. I am a very quick learner though." I was trying to remember everything that had been written on the CV.

"Right, I am going to ring your reference. If you wait there then I will be back in about five minutes."


	6. Let's get going

"Right well your reference seems fine." The woman said as she came back. Well I mean he was hardly going to say horrible things about me, he is trying to get me this job. " I see no reason not to employ you. Your work days will be Thursday, Friday and Saturday from lunchtime? I would like you to come here though this Thursday at 12 for some practice."

"Thank you, I will see you on Thursday." I shook her hand and left. I was going to have to ask Kingsley for Thursday off, fortunately he was part of the order so he would understand.

I apparated home and sat on the couch. Damn why couldn't it be Saturday, I need that Sunday lie-in. Before I went to bed I had a look at the list that Dumbledore had given me. I don't even know how I was going to begin with this. I made a cup of hot chocolate and sat down again. I started off by counting the amount of missions that had been interrupted.

There seemed to be about 20 of them, gosh the ministry were determined on finding the order. I can't believe we managed to get away with it so many times. I'd say if we don't catch the leak soon, were done for. Well actually if I don't find the leak, this is too much right now. I need some sleep, I should be able to sneak a few glances at this in work.

I made sure I put the information sheets in my bag so I could take them to work. I apparated myself from my flat to the telephone box. I looked at the pile of parchments on my desk, I didn't realise when I signed up for being an auror that there would be so much parchment work.

"Morning Tonks." Michael Mulstrode, another auror, said to me as I sat down at my desk.

"Morning Michael, were all these parchments here when I left on Friday?" I asked exasperatedly.

"No Kingsley put a few on your desk this morning." He looked at me apologetically.

"Oh great, I'd better get started. It looks like another day of overtime." Most of this work was writing reports on the tasks we had completed. For a time of relative "peace" we still managed to have a lot of work to do.

I managed to make significant headway on the pile of parchment, so I thought it was a good enough time to have another look at the sheet Dumbledore had given me. I started doing a tally of who was on these missions and how many times.

After about 20 minutes I had three names. Remus was one of them, the other two were people I hadn't really spoke to. Their names were Mimi Albury and Amanda Merilton.

"Nymphadora, can I speak to you for a moment." I cringed when I heard Kingsly call me that. Why did he have to be all formal and all. I know he's my boss and all, but still, why couldn't he call me Tonks.

"Yeah sure." I made my way to his office.

"It's just about some order stuff. Dumbledore has asked me to be your kind of mentor. If your having any trouble with your mission just ask. I know you shouldn't, but if you have any problems with the Death Eaters just tell me." He said after I had sat down.

"Thank you very much, it's much appreciated."

"I will be acting as a customer on your shifts, so if you have any problems then I will be there to help." He smiled at me and said bye. I went back to my desk. I was a bit disappointed I thought I was getting to do this mission on my own, but I suppose that it's better it's done like this. I mean if I was found out I would have no chance on my own.

I finally managed to get through all the pieces of parchment with just enough time to get ready for dinner with some of my friends. I hadn't seen them in ages, so I was really looking forward to meeting them. They were coming over to the flat so I was cooking. I know it's surprising, but they're going to help me. So girlie bonding by destroying my kitchen.

Ami was the first to arrive, I knew her from the street I lived on when I was little. She was a muggle, she would be the only one here, but she didn't mind.

"Hey honey." She said as she bounced through the door towards me.

"Hey, how are you." She responded by showing me her hand.

"Oh my God, Peter asked you to marry him!" I said staring at the ring.

"Yeah, yesterday. I can't believe it!" She said with a big grin on her face. We began to walk to the kitchen chatting about the ring and how Peter proposed to her. "So what are we making?"

"I thought we should make some muggle food, for some variation." We normally have wizard food so I thought it would be nice for Ami to have some muggle food at my house. There was a knock at the door again, I left Ami in the kitchen and answered the door. Esmelda and Sarah were on the other side with big grins on their faces.

"Hey, I haven't seen you two in so long." I said giving them both a hug and leading them to the kitchen. "I think Ami has something to tell you two." I said as we walked in to the kitchen.

"What, what's happened?" Sarah said looking over at Ami.

"Peter asked me to marry him." She said showing her hand. After a few minutes of gushing over Ami's ring we decided to start cooking. We were going to make risotto with stir fried vegetables. I know it might sound easy to you muggles, but we had never made this stuff. Ami had never cooked in her life as her family was rich so she had servants.

All was going well about twenty minutes in, well that was until I lost my balance, caught my elbow on the wok and sent vegetables flying everywhere. There I was lying on the floor with oily vegetables all over my face.

"Are you ok there Tonks?" Esmelda looked at me, obviously trying not to laugh.

"Yep I'm fine I think we need some more vegetables. Lucky I thought ahead and bought some extra vegetables." I peeled the vegetables off my face and put them in the bin. There were only a few more mishaps and we finally managed to get the dinner ready. By the time I got to bed that night I was knackered.


	7. My new job

I'm getting ready for my first undercover assignment for the order. I don't really know what to wear, I mean I've never worked in a bar before. After much thought and consideration I decided to go with a denim mini skirt and a black wrap-around top.

I apparated to an alleyway about one hundred yards down the road from the bar. I examined the area yesterday to find a suitable place to apparate, I didn't drive and there was no way I was going to walk all the way to the bar. I told Remus about it too as he was going to come in at some point just to make sure everything way going ok.

"Hey." I said as I walked up to the lady who had interviewed me.

"Hey Tonks, right let me introduce you to everyone. I'm Sarah, your boss and don't you forget it." She said laughing. "This is Adam." He was a baby faced guy with mousey brown hair. "Rachael." A tall girl, who looked more like a supermodel than a barmaid. "And this is Simon." Oh I could like this job, Simon looked like one of those guys you saw on muggle billboards advertising clothes and stuff.

I smiled sheepishly at them all, they all looked like they really knew what they were doing and I knew nothing.

"Simon will show you the ropes." Sarah said moving aside to let me past. This is going to be a fun night. I almost completely forgot that I was here spying on some suspected death eaters. I scanned the room to see who was here. There wasn't really anyone here certainly no one that I would recognise as possible death eaters.

It wasn't until about an hour later when people started to fill the place. I'd had some practice behind the bar by this time as there had been some customers in.

"How you doing there Tonks?" Michael said watching me pour a pint of some muggle drink called beer.

"Yeah ok, I'm getting the hang of it." I said as I took the money off the customer. "Do people really drink that stuff?" I had tasted some of it when I licked some off my hand, it didn't taste very nice.

"Yeah." Simon smiled at me, I felt like a little girl when he did that. He was so sweet and absolutely gorgeous.

"It tastes horrible I'd much rather good old fire whiskey or pumpkin juice." I said completely forgetting I was talking to a muggle.

"What the hell are they?" Simon looked really confused.

"Oh sorry, they're something my dad makes. I always forget people have never heard of them." I said thinking quickly.

"You'll have to invite me over sometime to have a taste." Oh my there was that smile again. I looked around the place again to see if there was anything suspicious going on. There it was I could see a few people who I recognised as death eaters. There was the Lestranges, McNair and Goyle all sitting in a booth away from everyone else. I thought that I might ask Michael about them and see if he could give me any information on what they talked about perhaps.

"Do you get many regulars in here?" I thought I might start subtly, I know not my strong point.

"A couple most of them are all right, but there are a few who are a bit weird. Like those over there in the booth." He said pointing right towards them. "I think there from some sort of cult or something. They talk about magic sometimes and some dark lord. A few too many drinks I think." I wanted to tell him magic was really and you-know-who was real, it wasn't just some cult. I couldn't do that though that would risk everything.

"I think I might go and clean up some glasses." I said as an excuse to try and get near them, to try and get some information. I didn't want to walk straight over to them so I gradually moved my way along the row of booths. As I got closer I could hear them speak.

"This stupid muggle spilt his drink on me on the way in. It took all my effort not to advada kadavra him right there and then. Stupid inferior muggle." I could hear Bellatrix saying, the others were intently listening.

"Don't worry darling, you will get your time when we can kill all the muggles. You just have to be patient; oh I can't wait to see their terrified little faces." Rodolphus put his arm around his wife. The whole table went quiet. I was so nervous that they would recognise me; I know I look different, but it was still terrifying.

"See what I mean there bonkers that lot." Simon said as I walked back behind the bar

"Oh right yeah, really weird kept talking about muggles and stuff." I nodded in agreement.

"I never know what they're talking about, they kinda scare me actually."

"They scare me a bit too." I said completely truthfully. The people in here didn't know that if they took a particular disliking to them they could kill them in an instant. The chaos they could cause and nobody even knows. I took another quick glance around the place and saw Remus walking in through the door. He sat down at a stool just down from where I was standing."

"Hello, and what can I get you." I said as I was unsure if I was supposed to 'know' him.

"I will have a coke." Remus said glancing over the bar.

"Not drinking then are we." I said playfully.

"No I'm being my boring old self." He smiled. "Plus I haven't really taken to muggle alcoholic drinks." He said in a whisper.

"That's em… one pound fifty." Remus started to rummage around in his pocket, pulling out a collection of coins.

"Sorry not really used to this money." Remus blushed.

"Right, well if you give me that gold one and the big funny shaped silver one." I said quietly so people didn't think Remus was a complete idiot.

"So have you found anything out?"

"Not really. They're sitting in one of the booths behind you." Remus didn't look around, he would have plenty of time to do that later. "They were just bitching about muggles and what they were going to do when the dark lord comes to power."

"Well that doesn't give us much to go on, I'll go and sit near them see if I can get anything."

"Ok, but be careful you're not in disguise they might recognise you" Remus just nodded and walked off with his drink.

Fortunately nothing happened I was putting my coat on to leave. Remus had told me as he left an hour ago that he would wait outside for me just in case anything did happen. I said bye to everyone, Michael even gave me a hug and I walked down towards the entrance of the alleyway where Remus would be waiting for me.

"No trouble?" Remus said as I arrived at the alleyway.

"No, no information either." I said in frustration.

"Don't worry we just want to keep tabs on them so that if they do something then we can get them. Moody has followed them in his invisibility cloak." Remus reassured me, he was such a sweet guy. "Right come on I'll apparate you home."

"No it's all right you can go straight home." I didn't really need him to do it.

"I won't hear another word I want to make sure you're safe home." I conceded and let him take me home.

"Thank you for taking me home." I said standing in my doorway.

"Ok well I'll see you on Saturday. Molly is coming around to make dinner at Grimmauld place and wants everyone there."

"Well I'll see you there." I went to kiss Remus on the cheek, but we both misjudged and I caught him on the lips. We stood there for a moment, neither of us pulling away.


	8. New discoveries

"Oh erm… sorry." Remus said blushing as he finally pulled away. I have to say I wasn't sorry, I enjoyed it. I never thought I would, but that was nice.

"Well, em right. I should probably be going to be then." I said nervously, I didn't really know what to say.

"Ok then I'll…" He didn't have time to finish his sentence before I decided to pull him in for a kiss. There didn't seem to be any complaint from him, so I knew I'd made the right choice. There were tingles going down my spine and through my whole body. Without any word we slowly moved to my bedroom.

He began to kiss me on my neck and I moaned with pleasure, which seemed to spur him on. He pushed me back on to the bed and began to take my clothes of. I grabbed the hem of his jumper, pulling it over his head. It wasn't long before we were both naked with our hands all over each other.

I could see he hadn't done anything like this in a while, he had been deprived. I was so disappointed when I looked over in the morning to find he wasn't there. Not in the mood to eat, I showered and went to work.

"Morning." Kingsley said cheerily.

"Uh huh." I said not really paying attention.

"Tonks is there something wrong this morning?" He said moving over to stand next to my desk.

"Huh, oh no nothing's wrong, just my disaster of a love life."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Well I've got something to keep your mind off it for a few hours. There is someone bringing in illegal potion ingredients to sell on the dark market." The dark market was like the muggle black market. "I want you and Michael to go to the London eye, where we think they will be receiving the goods."

It wasn't long before Michael and I were sat in a muggle car on the lookout for this guy. We had been given a picture that had been taken by another Auror. The man was about 5'7 with jet black hair; he had a small face, but a large nose.

We had been sitting in the car for several hours now, I'm supposed to be meeting Sirius tonight, but it doesn't look like that will happen.

"You know this makes me want to go back to paperwork." Michael laughed.

"I know what you mean I hope this guy turns up soon."

"Are you all right, I mean back at the office you were a bit off with Kingsley."

"I'm ok, it's just I had a bit of a disaster of a night yesterday. I officially hate men now." I huffed.

"I'm sorry, shall I leave now." At first I was confused by this comment, but when I got it I started to laugh. Suddenly I caught a glimpse of the guy from the picture. He was walking towards a much taller man who had a giant rucksack.

Both of us sat up, watching the two men intently. When they exchanged the bag we ran for it. I went towards the smaller guy and Michael sent a binding curse at the taller man, who fell over. None of the muggles seemed to notice the spell, they just saw him fall over. Michael took care of him, finding a hidden place and apparated to the muggle entrance to the Ministry of magic.

I was running after the other guy who hadn't seen me, but seemed to have an idea I was there. When I finally caught him I put my wand to the base of his back.

"Now if you just keep walking straight ahead then everything should be fine. If you want to do things the hard way you're in for a tough fight, so I suggest you do things the easy way." I said in my calmest and toughest voice. He seemed to take the hint and just kept walking, not taking the chance to look at my face.

We eventually found a quite place with no people, where I could apparate to the Ministry. I was able to leave the rest of the work to the magical law enforcement, which meant I could go home finally.

"Bye, see you tomorrow." I said to Kingsley as I left.

As I left I saw Amanda Merilton, one of the members of the order and the ministry welcome witch talking in whispers to Cornelius Fudge. She was giggling and was running one of her hands up and down his arm.

'Oh my God' I thought she's having an affair with him. She's always liked status, she obviously wanted to be the Minister's wife, I mean that was pretty high status. God she's worse than that Dolores Umbridge lady, I can't wait to see her face when she finds out Fudge has someone that isn't her.

She must be the one feeding the Ministry information. I moved as close as I could without them seeing me. "There will be another stake out tonight they are going to Malfoy's house. They're going to raid it while he's out." I heard her tell Fudge.

"What time will it be?" He asked.

"Whenever Malfoy leaves, it should be around 8pm. They are going to a friend's house for dinner."

"Thank you, you will be rewarded for this." Fudge gave Amanda a quick kiss and left, she had a huge grin on her face. Whore I can't believe she's doing this. I quickly apparated to Sirius' before I was caught listening in.

When I arrived I saw several ginger haired children standing in the hallway as well and Molly Weasley and a brown haired girl.

"Molly how lovely to see you." I said as she turned around to look at me.

"Tonks dear, I haven't seen you in ages." She hurried over and hugged me. "These are my children, Arthur and I thought it was safer if they were here. This is George, Fred, Ginny and Ron and this is Ron's friend Hermione." She said indicating to the brown haired girl.

"Hi, I'm Tonks. I just came round to see Sirius." I said turning back to Molly.

"Right well he's in the kitchen." I smiled in thanks and walked towards the kitchen. I was mortified to see Remus was sitting in there too. I said hi to Sirius, but completely ignored Remus.

"What is going on between you too?" Sirius said after Remus had left the room.

"He is an ass, that's what's going on between us." I said angrily.

"What has he done, I'm sure it's not that bad. Moony is one of the nicest people I have met." Sirius said in Remus' defence, but only succeeded in annoying me more.

"You obviously don't know your friend very well."

"Just try me, go on tell me what happened." He leaned in on to the table.

"Promise you won't say anything to anyone if I tell you this, especially not Remus." Sirius nodded. "The thing is we kinda slept together last night."

"You shagged Remus!" Sirius said with a grin.

"Yes, thanks for putting it so bluntly. The thing is when I woke up in the morning he had left and there was no note or anything." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Just hang here while I tear Moony to pieces. He can't treat my cousin like this." Sirius left the room before I had the chance to say anything to him. I ran up to the stairs and listened at Remus' door.

"Where the hell do you get of sleeping with Tonks and then just leaving with no excuse?" Sirius shouted. Oh God I hope the rest of the house couldn't hear this, it would be so embarrassing.

"I had to the whole thing was a mistake." That didn't really make me feel any better.

"What, so my cousin is a mistake. She could do so much better than you." Sirius shouted I didn't want them to stop being friends because of me.

"That was my point I couldn't have her going out with me an old decrepit, dangerous werewolf. She's too young she would have regretted it in the morning." Remus explained sorrowfully.

"It seems that she didn't regret it, she likes you Remus. You need to go make it up to her you know make up sex is always the best." Sirius laughed.

"Oh shut up Padfoot, look she will get bored with me after a few days. I don't want to have to deal with that."

"Look Remus, just give it a go. I promise she won't get bored with you and if she does you can blame me."

"Don't worry I will." Remus laughed, I was ginning to myself on the other side of the door.

"What are you doing there Tonks." Molly's daughter Ginny said to me.


	9. Nothing can ruin this mood

It had been a month since Remus had that conversation with Sirius, but he still hadn't said anything to me. In that time I had gotten to know the Weasleys, we had rescued Harry Potter from his uncle and aunt and sent him to school. I had also told Dumbledore about Amanda, he had thrown her out of the Order and had given her a memory potion so that she could give any more information away.

Most importantly Simon, the guy who works at the bar, had asked me around to his house so I could introduce him to fire whiskey and pumpkin juice. I had decided to say yes, because it didn't seem that Remus was going to do anything.

As I walked up to Simon's door I felt quite nervous. I had spent ages getting ready and eventually decided on a black halter-neck top and some jeans.

"You look great." Simon said as he opened the door and saw me there with bottles of fire whiskey and pumpkin juice.

"You don't look too bad yourself."

"Come in, you don't want to get cold standing out there." He moved aside to let me in. "Are these the drinks you were talking about." He said looking at the bottles in my hand. I had taken the labels off them so that they looked like homemade things.

"Which one would you like first?"

"Let's have a glass of each." He smiling and showed me the way to the kitchen.

"It smells nice in here." I said as we walked through the door.

"That is dinner; I thought we should have something to go with these lovely drinks." I handed him a glass of each drink. "Right which one is which?"

"The one in your left hand is fire whiskey and the one in your right is pumpkin juice." I watched as he took a sip on the fire whiskey and screwed up his face and then suddenly took a sip of the pumpkin juice.

"I can see why it's called fire whiskey 'cause my mouth is on fire." He said laughing.

"Yeah, I'm don't really like the taste of it too much either. That's why I mix the too together." I said as I put both in the same glass.

"That's much better, right do you want some dinner?"

"Yeah, I'm glad you cooked because I'm rubbished." I laughed as he placed the dinner plates on the table. We spent hours talking and it had only seemed moments before it was well after midnight. Feeling sleepy I decided that it was time to go, he walked me to the door. We stood talking at the door for another few minutes before he gave me a long kiss.

It felt so nice and I wished it could have lasted longer; he was smiling at me when he pulled away.

"I'll see you tomorrow at work." He said to me as I walked down the road. I found the nearest alleyway and apparated home. I couldn't get ride of the smile on my face, I could finally forget about Remus, if he didn't want to be with me then fine.

Things between me and Simon developed over the next couple of weeks. We hadn't gone any further than kissing, but I didn't mind that because I liked him that much. The people at the bar had noticed there was something going on between us, but they hadn't said anything. Nothing could ruin the happy mood Simon had put me in.

"Tonks you are doing duty at the ministry with Remus." Well that was short lived. I thought as Arthur Weasley told me the worst possible news. My stomach was churning so much as I got ready to go to the ministry. I hadn't seen Remus since the incident in my flat, and I still thought it was too soon to see him. I really wish I could get someone else to do duty for me, but it wasn't going to happen. I hadn't done duty in a long time so I couldn't just fob it off on someone else.

"Hi" Remus had said when we me to apparate to the ministry. I just smiled back; I felt that if I had spoke I would have just shouted at him. We sat there in silence until I decided that I couldn't take it anymore.

"Why did you do it." I suddenly said, not thinking that Remus didn't know what I had been thinking of in my head.

"Why did I do what?" He said with a confused look.

"Why did you leave after we slept together, what is wrong with me that made you leave without a note?" I said without raising my voice. More out of fear that I might cry, if I spoke any louder, than anything else.

"I thought that you would regret it once you woke up, so I thought that if I left you wouldn't have to come up with an uncomfortable reason for me to leave." Remus said sheepishly

"What the hell would make you think that I would regret it? I knew what I was doing, I was distraught when I realised you were gone, I thought that there was something wrong with me. At least if you're going to be an asshole you could give me an explanation as to why rather than leaving me in the dark!" This time I did shout, I was so angry.

"I just thought why would you want to be with an old dangerous werewolf?"

"Oh bollocks Remus, I knew you were a werewolf and I was still your friend so why would it be any different if we were going out?" I raised my voice even more.

"I'm sorry, but we're not right together. You would just get bored and then dump me, so I thought I would save the time and heartbreak." Remus tried to reason, but I was so angry at this point I didn't really care what he had to say.

"Oh stop with the self pity, it doesn't suit you." I leant back on the wall, with tears welling up in my eyes. There was suddenly a loud bang, Remus and I looked over to where the bang had come from.


	10. Bang

"What the hell was that noise?" I asked forgetting the argument that we were in the middle of.

"I don't know, stand behind me." Remus said pushing me so I was up against the wall behind him.

"I can look after myself you know Remus, I am an arour." I was sick of him being gentlemanly, I'm not stupid. I might be a bit clumsy, but I can hold my own.

"Shut up Tonks, we have no time for this." I was slightly shocked by the change in his manner; I had never seen this side of him before. We stood there watching in the direction of the noise for what seemed an age.

"Holy Christ." Remus said when he saw what came around the corner. It was a massive snake, like nothing I've ever seen before. Its body was wider than most humans and it just seemed to keep coming around the corner. There seemed to end to the long body, I was suddenly glad I was standing behind Remus.

"Tonks get out of here." Remus said quietly.

"No I'm leaving you alone with this thing." I indicated towards the snake on the floor. The snake thing looked at us for a few second, then the door and turned around and went back around the corner. "That was really weird."

"I know, I wonder why it was here. I've never seen anything like it." Once we had finished out duty we ran back to Dumbledore to tell him what we had seen. As soon as it was all done it suddenly became very uncomfortable between us again.

"Erm right I'm going to go home." I said walking out of the grounds of Hogwarts.

"Why don't you come around to mine and we can sort things out." Remus said quietly.

"No I don't think I can. I wouldn't want Simon to get the wrong idea. Anyway I have two jobs to go to tomorrow, so I need some sleep." Without giving Remus a chance to reply I apparated home and was so glad to be lying down in my own bed, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

I was so tired after the night before that I could barely keep my eyes open. The only thing that kept me going was the thought that I was going to see Simon later, who took me home to his to stay the night for the first time.

"I think it's time for bed, don't you?" He said looking at me mischievously.

"You just might be right." I followed him in to his room. The night we spent together was great; Simon was great. The only problem was that he wasn't Remus. I know it sounds mean, but I was kinda using Simon to make Remus jealous. I had no idea if it was going to work.

Two weeks after the incident with the snake I got an owl to say the Arthur Weasley had been attacked while he was on duty. I couldn't believe it I went to St Mungo's as soon as possible. When I got there Molly was giving out to him for trying to use muggle medicine. I had to laugh, it was such an Arthur thing to do. Molly stop giving out to him as soon as she caught sight of me."

"Hello Tonks." She was slightly flushed in the cheeks.

"Hello Molly, Arthur. How are you doing Arthur?" I looked over to him wrapped in bandages.

"Not too bad, oh apart from when they take the bandages off I keep bleeding." He chuckled to himself. Trust him to be so jolly in a situation like this. I could tell Molly hadn't dealt quite as well with the news.

"Half our family owe our lives to Harry, how can we ever repay him." Molly shook her head.

"I don't think he wants repaying." I said putting an arm around Molly's shoulders. "He loves your family he would do anything for you." Molly just sobbed. I spent an hour at St Mungo's talking to Molly and Arthur. After I left I went straight to Grimmauld Place to see Sirius and check out on how the children were doing.

"Tonks." Hermione and Ginny ran at me and gave me a hug.

"Have you seen dad yet how is he?" Ginny cried on to my arm.

"I saw him before, he is doing much better, you should be able to go and see him tomorrow." I said to her and saw her face lift. Molly had come home and made dinner for everyone. There was a lot more chatter and smiles now that Arthur was all right. Remus wasn't at the dinner table until quite late, he looked even more shabby than normal.

"Tonks, Tonks do the witch nose." Ginny said. I obliged and changed my nose to a roar of rapturous applause from Ron, Harry, Ginny and Hermione.

"I never get tired of that." Ron laughed. They continued with their own conversation, leaving me able to have a conversation with Bill.

"So how's things with the muggle?" He said through a mouthful of food.

"It's going great, he so nice. I just have to figure out when to tell him I'm a witch." I laughed.

"Are you sure that's what you want. Are you sure there isn't a certain werewolf that you're a bit more interested in?" Bill wriggled his eyebrows.

"What! How did you know about that?" I whispered to Bill.

"Well I had an idea, but now you've confirmed it for me. Look if you want Remus then go for him." I looked around hoping that nobody was listening in to the conversation.

"I want to, but he doesn't want me. We slept together and he just left before I even woke up in the morning." Bill looked shocked.

"You two slept together, did Remus keep his socks on." Bill smirked.

"Oh shut up Bill." I said slapping him on the arm. "No he didn't and actually he was bigger than you." I couldn't help laughing at the look on Bill's face when I said that.

"Tonks can I speak to you in the hallway." Remus' voice broke in to the conversation. He was standing behind us. I blushed slightly as I followed him in to the hall, I really hoped that he hadn't heard my last comment.


	11. Meet the parents

"Tonks I don't want us not to be friends. I'm sorry about the way I dealt with the situation, but you're going to get bored of me. I wanted to save any heart ache." Remus said once we were on our own.

"Remus I can't be friends with you now you know how I feel. I can't believe you have such low self esteem that you just think I'm going to get bored of you and dump you. In fact I can't believe you have such a low opinion of me that you think of me in that way."

"I didn't mean it in that way." Remus shook his head. "I just mean who would want to go out with someone like me?"

"Oh get over yourself. I like you Remus, why can't you see that?" I was annoyed that Remus was pushing me away like this.

"Look, I'm too old for you."

"Oh for God sake, I can't deal with this. I like you Remus and if you can't see that then more fool you." I gave him a lingering kiss on the lips before I went back in to the kitchen. It was a few moments before Remus with a surprised look still on his face. I decided to spend the night at Grimmauld place as I couldn't be bothered going home.

"Tonks don't be depressed, he'll see sense soon enough." Bill said before he left after he had given me a hug.

To help perk me up I rang Simon on this muggle mobile phone I had bought so I could contact muggle people. It had taken me a little time to figure out how it worked. All the muggles seemed to be able to use them pretty easily.

Soon enough it was time for the kids to be getting back to school, so we escorted them to the train station.

"Bye Tonks." Harry gave me a hug before he went on to the train, as did Hermione and Ginny. Looking at them made me want my own children, but not now. I wanted to be an auror for longer before I had any children.

I went home straight home after the kids got on to the train. Remus tried to get hold of me before I left, but I just walked faster to get away from him and apparated before he caught up with me. I showered and got dressed as Simon was taking me to see his parents.

I was quite nervous when Simon picked me up. I had never met a boyfriend's parents before, I'd only met Molly and Arthur years after I broke up with Bill, because of the Order and the Ministry. We drove to their house, I still wasn't used to this whole car thing it was very odd.

"Hi Tonks." Simon's mum said as she kissed me on the cheek. "It's an interesting name you have there." She said once we were sat down for dinner.

"It's my surname, I don't really like my first name." I smiled at her.

"What is your first name?" His dad suddenly looked interested.

"Erm... Nymphadora." I winced, I hated that name like I haven't told you enough times.

"That's certainly different." He said almost choking on his pasta. Simon started laughing at the look on his dad's face.

"That is the reason I don't like it. I reckon my parents had sniffed something funny when they gave me the name." Everyone laughed, which was nice. Simon's parents seemed quite laid back. I was much calmer by the end of the dinner than I was at the beginning. His parents weren't snooty or anything, I was worried about the day Simon would have to meet my parents.

They would love him I know that, but my mum sometimes finds it hard to hide her magic. You think she would have learnt seeing as she is married to a muggle, but no not at all.

"They really liked you, I mean they like my last girlfriend and she turned out to be a bunny boiler, but it's a good sign." I kinda gave him a confused smile.

"What's a bunny boiler?" I had never heard that expression before in my life. Simon looked a bit shocked for a second, but then smiled.

"Never mind." He said shaking his hand to dismiss the comment. We got in to the car and he walked me to the door of my flat. We kissed for what seemed forever, but just not quite long enough. I was grinning to myself as I got changed for bed.

I had to go to bed straight away as I knew it was going to be a long day tomorrow. There were a few assignments to go out on and a lot of paperwork to do.

A week later I was running through the corridors of Hogwarts at sod knows what time at night on a mission to find Dumbledore. I had heard something and I really needed to find him, it was imperative that I find him.

While running down the corridor I almost ran over Severus Snape, he went flying across the floor.

"Could you kindly watch where you're going Miss Tonks." He sneered at me.

"I'm sorry, but I need to get to Dumbledore." I tried to get around him, but he moved in front of me.

"I think that whatever you have to say could wait until the morning."

"Oh bugger off." I pushed him aside and began to run down the corridor again. I eventually reached his office where I thought he might be, that man never seemed to sleep.

"Fizzing Wisbees." I panted out while leaning on my knees. The gargoyle moved out of the way and I ran up the stairs that appeared behind it. Once I got in to the office it took me a minute to catch my breath, I really need to get fitter I thought to myself. Dumbledore just stared at me while I caught my breath, he didn't say anything to me.

"I need to tell you something." I finally managed to say.


	12. Things that go bump on the night

"Miss Tonks please sit down." Dumbledore smiled at me.

"Doesn't matter haven't got time." I was still breathing quite heavily. "They're going to get someone at 3 this morning. The address is four, Harcourt lane somewhere in Manchester." Dumbledore's face turned serious all of a sudden.

"Right ok, I want you to alert everybody and get to Grimmauld Place. I will be there in half an hour, two hours is going to be tough." I said bye to Dumbledore and ran out of his room. The first place I went to was Snape's office, he was bound to still be up if I had only seen him five minutes ago.

I couldn't find him in his office so I ran around Hogwarts until I literally ran in to him, again. "You need to get to Grimmauld Place right now, there is going to be an attack, we need the whole order." Snape said nothing, he just nodded and we both ran for the front gates.

It was a bit of a task trying to get hold of everybody, I apparated to their houses banging on their doors at one in the morning. Clearly none of them were happy to see me, but once I told them what was going on they forgot about the time.

"Right now Tonks, you definitely heard this. You're one hundred per cent sure that's what they said. We don't want to turn up and it to be a dud mission." Remus said to me, oooh I could smack him right now.

"Yes of course I heard it right, I'm not a stupid child you know although you seem to think so." I was so angry he could think that I was absolutely sure I had heard everything right. "I was cleaning the table next to them and I overheard what they said."

"Why would they be talking about stuff like that in the open when anyone could hear them?" Remus persisted. Everyone was looking at us in shock as if something might just blow up.

"Well obviously they think I'm a muggle, so I would know what they were or what they were talking about. They don't know I'm a witch, I mean that's the whole point in me being there. You know, that's there reason I am working my ass of in two jobs, just in case something like this happens. Dumbledore didn't just make me do it just for giggles."

At that point Dumbledore walked in through the door and everyone sat down quietly.

"Right we know who lives there now it is a Mr Frank Pertwee. As some of you will know he works in the Department of Mysteries and I believe this is another attempt to get the prophesy. It is now two o'clock so we need to get going, we want to have him out of the house before the Death Eaters arrive so we can be ready for them."

We were all given apparition points, there were only three people per point as it would look a bit funny if fifteen people suddenly appeared in the same place. We quickly made our way to where the house was. Oh I hope Frank was going to be ok, I had seen him at the ministry a couple of times he seemed like an amicable guy.

It looked like he was still up as the lights were on in his bedroom, this could be a bad sign it might mean the Death Eaters were already there. Some of us went in the back door and the others went through the front door, we all had our wands raised in case anything were to pop out.

"Right we will go upstairs and you will stay down here to make sure we don't have any surprise visitors." Bill whispered, indicating to the people he meant.

I followed him slowly up the stairs as we made our way towards the bedroom which was at the end of the corridor. Bill and I stood on either side of the door and looked at each other for a moment until he nodded at me. I slowly push the door open as he held his wand out in front of him.

"Shit." He said to himself, the sudden speech gave me a fright and I jumped.

"What, what's happened?" I said moving in to the room.

"He's not here they've taken him. They must have done it earlier, changed their minds or something." Bill shook his head and walked back down the stairs, with the rest of us following. "He isn't here, we need to check the place over before we go see if anything has been left behind."

We started moving around the house, trying to find the tiniest piece of information anything at all. After about two minutes there was a bang from one of the cupboards. I ran over too it and flung the door open with my wand pointing in to it. Before I had a chance to do anything I was shot backwards across the room. I hit the floor with a thud there was a huge pain in my lower back and my head.

Everyone looked at me for a second before there were curses flying everywhere as Death Eaters began to appear. I could do nothing, I couldn't move, I couldn't talk nothing. I was completely helpless lying here in a heap on the floor.

This was quite scary being in the middle of this and not being able to move. Suddenly I saw this foot move towards me, the next thing I knew I was waking up in Grimmauld Place with Molly looking over me.

"Tonks you awake! How are you feeling?" She said soothingly.

"A bit sore, what happened did you get any Death Eaters?" My head was pounding and I could feel a lump on the top of my head.

"No unfortunately they disapparated out before we had the chance, the killed Frank too." Molly's face was blank of any expression.

"We think it was a trap, Dumbledore believes the Death Eaters knew you were spying on them. He doesn't want you to go back to work, you're going to have to go and quit before tonight."

"Right ok." I said propping myself up in the bed.

"Don't rush yourself, you've got a slight concussion so don't do any quick movements." Molly said as she left. I had managed to get dress when somebody knocked on the door. I opened the door to see Remus standing on the other side.

"Hi, how are you doing?" He said sheepishly.

"I'm ok, little drowsy and a bit sore." Remus smiled at me, which actually kinda scared me as he hadn't smiled at me in a long time.

"You should have a long bath, relax your muscles and that." He looked like he was getting a little uncomfortable after saying that. We stood there in silence for a little while until I just leant over and kissed him.

For a second he was frozen, but he began to reply. He closed the door behind him and pulled me in closer. We were kissing for what seemed like an age before he pulled away.

"Let's take things a little slower this time, remember you still have a boyfriend." Oh God, I suddenly remembered Simon, I was going to have to do something about that.

I was on my way to quit my job, I was quite nervous. I looked a bit of a mess, I had bump on my head and a bit of a black eye as I had left the house before Molly had a chance to clear it up.

"Hey Sarah, look I'm sorry about this, but I have to quit." Sarah looked shocked at first.

"Can you at least work the next few days?

"No sorry I can't, my mum is ill at the moment and I need to look after her. I'm really sorry."

"Ok, that's fine sorry about that. What happened to your face?" She pointed at me.

"I fell down the stairs." I felt a bit uncomfortable now, I just wanted to leave and go back home. Eventually I did after a very long conversation. As soon as I got back Molly began to fuss over me, she kept making sure I was ok and kept giving me things.


	13. It all goes belly up

I check myself again in the mirror; I was getting ready for a date with Simon. It had been a month since I quit my job, but I still hadn't got the heart to dump Simon. I really liked him, but I liked Remus more. It had been hard to make sure that Simon didn't get suspicious of anything. I had to keep making up lies about my mother, it was so hard.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, which made me jump. I walked slowly over to the door, nervous about what I had to do. I had never had to dump anyone and I didn't like the feeling. I opened the door to find Simon standing on the other side of it with a bunch of flowers, which just made the whole things ten times worse.

"I know you've been having a tough time with your mother being ill and all that, so I thought I might cheer you up with a bunch of flowers." He handed the bunch over to me.

"Thank you", I said giving him a lingering kiss. Why don't you come in while I find a vase to put these in." I stood aside to let him in. How was I supposed to dump him now, he is so sweet and so cute, but it's too much hassle having a muggle boyfriend at the moment.

Suddenly there was a loud crack from the kitchen, shit someone had apparated in to my flat. How the hell was I supposed to explain this to Simon.

"What was that?" He looked confused.

"One of the dishes probably fell off the rack." I said quickly, but Simon didn't look convinced. I quickly scurried in to the kitchen to find Remus looking quite tense. "What the hell are you doing here I'm trying to dump Simon. How am I supposed to explain you in my kitchen?" I whispered angrily to him.

"That doesn't matter right now, there are more important things. Harry thinks that Sirius is being tortured in the ministry and he's gone to save him." Remus really didn't look scared I had never seen him look like this.

"Erm right ok, let me sort out Simon first." I turned around to go back in to the living room, but found Simon standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Let me sort myself out shall I, I know where the door is." He looked a mixture of upset and angry.

"Simon stop it's not what you think." I had no idea what I was going to say next.

"I'm quite sure it is what I think, your cheating on me with this old codger. Just tell me this one thing, what does he have that I don't?"

"No it's not that he's just a work colleague we were discussing work when you arrived, it's just there is an emergency at work." Simon seemed to accept this, until Remus decided to pipe up.

"So I'm just a work colleague then, so that kiss meant nothing. I thought you were going dump this idiot for me anyway." Oh, for God's sake this is just getting worse.

"Tonks, you're such a liar I never want to see you again!" At that Simon stormed out of the flat. I didn't have the energy to run after him, although, I did have the energy to slap Remus across the face.

"What the hell was that for, why did you have to say that to him?" I screamed.

"You were going to dump him anyway so I don't see what the problem is. Plus I don't like to be referred to as just a work colleague or is that all I am to you?"

"No of course you aren't, it's just I wanted the break-up to be amicable. I didn't want him to hate me, which he does now." I began to calm down.

"Look the way I see it we can be together now ok." He pulled me in for a lingering kiss, I could feel the shivers going up my spine. So I was really disappointed when he pulled away so suddenly.

"Shit Harry, fuck! Let's go." Oh my God we had totally forgotten about Harry, I can't believe that. I apparated to Grimmauld place seconds after Remus had. The place was chaos everybody was running around trying to sort everything out. Sirius was running after Molly asking if he could go, but she refused and told him he was going to stay here with her. He suddenly spotted me and ran over.

"Tonks thank God you're here, Molly won't let me go to the Ministry. Please can I go with you, Molly won't even notice I've gone." He pleaded.

"No I can't, it's too dangerous we don't want to risk you being spotted." Sirius looked decidedly unpleased with my answer.

"He is my Godson you know, I can't just stay here when he could be dead already. I am going and no one can stop me." He said and stormed off. Once everybody was sorted we apparated to the ministry what greeted us was a barrage of spells. The children had done quite successfully to get this far, but they seemed to be struggling now.

I could see Bellatrix Lestrange running at me she must have recognised me from the bar.

"My dear niece, you don't think you were going to get away with spying on us. I could recognise a black from a mile away no matter how much you try to change yourself. Now you will pay." She came running at me, screaming all sorts of spells. I managed to hold her off quite well until I lost my footing, which gave her the chance to hit me with a spell.

Damn my clumsiness I thought as I fell to the floor. I was still conscious but I couldn't move, I was helpless to stop what I saw moments later. I wanted to scream, but nothing came out. It was so awful seeing Sirius falling through the veil, I wanted to catch him. Why had I been so clumsy, if I hadn't have lost my footing I could have got Bellatrix and Sirius would still be here.

I could see Remus holding back Harry, who was trying to jump in the veil after Sirius. Suddenly I could move again, I could see Arthur standing over me with his hand outstretched.

The mood in the house was horrible for the next few days, Harry had been sent back to school. Nobody was talking to each other Remus wouldn't even look at me. I think he blamed me for Sirius' death, which is not surprising, because it was. I wish he would talk to my though, hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright. Only a few days ago everything was settling in to place and now it's fallen to pieces again.


	14. Self pity doesn't suit you

It had been a month since Sirius' death and I don't think I have moved from the couch in all that time. Maybe I had been to the toilet once I don't really remember, although, I don't think I had eaten. I just couldn't bring myself to do anything, why should I enjoy life when I had killed my cousin. If I had fought off Bellatrix he would still be alive, he would still be Harry's godfather and Harry would have somewhere to live. I, me, Nymphadora Tonks had successfully ruined Harry Potter's last chance at some normality in his life. With that there was a loud bang in the kitchen and once I had recovered from the shock I went to see what was going on.

An equally dishevelled and depressed looking Remus standing in the pile of rubbish that had built up in my kitchen.

"Tonks what is going on here?" Remus said looking at the chaotic scene in front him.

"I sacked the cleaner." I tried to make a joke to make this somewhat less uncomfortable, but it didn't work he just looked confused. "I didn't see the point in cleaning up."

"Tonks have you left the flat in the last month." I shook my head. "You look terrible you should eat something, have you even eaten anything? I shook my head again. "Come on Tonks everyone at the Order is getting worried about you they miss you, I miss you." He looked at me longingly. I missed him too it tore me apart not having his arms around me.

"You missed me?" I said pathetically it was the only thing I could force out of my mouth.

"Yes of course I missed you Tonks I love you." His cheeks filled with crimson blood, it was the first time he had ever said those three words to anyone and all I could do was stand there and gawk at him like an idiot. He started to look more uncomfortable as the silence went on.

"You love me?" Come on Tonks form a sentence. "I thought you hated me" No not that one did you really just say that?

"Why would I hate you, how could I hate you?" He looked baffled.

"Well I killed your best friend."

"Wha... you mean Sirius? Bellatrix killed him not you remember?"

"I know but it was my fault that she even got a chance to fight him. If I was a better arour then he would still be alive and she would be gone." I started to cry uncontrollably and Remus slowly put him arms around me and pulled me in close. I instantly felt better and my breathing slowed down again, I pulled him even closer I just wanted to smell him he smelt so good.

"Tonks it's not your fault no one blames you. It would have happened no matter who was fighting her, the anger she has inside of her seemed to give her that upper edge." I said nothing in reply I just sobbed quietly. He pulled away slightly and could feel the warmth in the air where his body had been, between us. "Now dry those eyes, because remember self pity doesn't suit you, and we are going to the Weasleys for some food you need to be fattened up." He said as his kissed away the tears from my face.

"Can I get changed? Because I look like a hobo right now and I smell like one too. No amount of Molly's food will disguise this odour." I smiled slightly before walking towards my bedroom. "Why are you still standing there?" I turned to face Remus who was still in the kitchen.

"I thought I would stay here and tidy while you get yourself sorted." He started to pick some of the rubbish off the floor.

"We can do that later I might need help washing in those hard to reach places. You don't want to see me struggle do you?" Grinning from ear to ear Remus walked with me to the bathroom. This is the happiest I have felt in a long time and to have his hands on me again just made it that much better. An hour and a lot of kissing later we were dry, dressed and ready to make our way to Molly's. We went in to the living room to give us more space to apparate.

"Right then I will see you in a moment then at Molly's" Remus smiled at me.

"Oh Remus before we go I just want to say one thing, I love you." His smile grew even larger as there were two loud pops as we left for Molly's. No sooner had I arrived at the Weasley house I was attacked by a whole bunch of red heads it felt like I was being mauled, I supposed in a manner of speaking I was.

"Come on kids give the poor woman some space to breath" It was so good to see Arthur again, his smile never failed to cheer me up. "Tonks" He threw his arms out for a hug. "It's wonderful to see you again the kids have been driving me crazy about when you will next be over." He chuckled to himself as he walked back in to the house.

"Darling Tonks, you look terrible, come one let me feed you up." Molly said dragging me in to the house. I could help but laugh Molly could never be accused of beating around the bush she always said exactly what was on her mind. Over the next ten minutes Molly proceeded to keep putting food in my hands for me to eat.

"Come on mum I'm sure she's full by now, let her sit down." Fred looked up from his conversation with his brother George.

"Yeah come one mum you don't want to make her sick." George piped up. Molly seemed to take the hump with her sons' comments and she walked out of the kitchen.

"Thank you guys, I don't think I could have eaten another pumpkin pasty." I sat down at the dining with them while they spoke about their new inventions for their magic shop. I enjoyed it because no one was fussing over me or mentioning Sirius, but my enjoyment was short lived when I saw Harry walk down the stairs followed by Remus. He had been in his room since I had arrived, I knew I was going to have to have this conversation eventually, but I wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

"Tonks, Harry wants to talk to you I think you need to talk to him." Remus ushered Fred and George out of the kitchen.

"Tonks I'm so sorry about what happened in the ministry with Sirius and everything. It was all my fault if I had listened to Snape with those occlumency lessons then we wouldn't have gone there and he wouldn't have been there and he would still be alive." Harry blurted the sentence out so quickly I had difficulty following it. I couldn't believe what he was saying that it was his fault.

"Harry it wasn't your fault it was mine, if I had been stronger against Bellatrix then she wouldn't have got to him. Don't go blaming yourself you-know-who is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, nobody blames you for believing him there is nothing you could have done."

"It's not your fault, Bellatrix was just too strong you can't blame yourself for that." Harry moved around the table to sit next to me.

"That's the point she shouldn't have been too strong."

"Look Tonks you are just going to make yourself feel worse if you keep blaming yourself." Harry put his hand on my shoulder.

"I can say the same to you." I looked Harry in the face.

"Ok then let's make a pact we are both going to try and not blame ourselves for it. We will just try an remember Sirius ok."

Sounds good to me, I will do my best." I stuck my hand out to shake Harry's. Suddenly the realisation that Sirius had actually gone hit me, I spent the last month blaming myself for everything that I hadn't even mourned the fact that he was gone. I had to leave and I had to leave now! I went outside to find Remus, doing my best to hold all the tears in.

"Remus can we go now?" I found him with Arthur who was explaining to him how muggles used a lawn mower.

"What's wrong?" He looked genuinely concerned.

"I just need to go home" He said bye to Arthur quickly and followed me out towards the gate, by this time I was crying so much we had to sidelong apparate because I could not gain the energy to do it myself.

"Tonks what happened between you and Harry?"

"Sirius is dead." Is all I could formulate, "just hold me". We lay on my bed and Remus held me tightly until I fell asleep.


	15. Alton towers?

I turned over in the bed, my body felt exhausted from the crying I had done the previous evening. My eyes rested on the opposite side of the bed which was empty. Where was Remus? My heart dropped, he'd left me again. I thought we had made a step forward last night we were just able to be together with none of his insecurities, but obviously he thinks differently.

I dragged myself towards the kitchen to get a glass of water all that crying had drained me of any fluids in my body.

"Morning Tonks." Remus was here Oh my God he was here! "I thought you might be hungry after last night." He was stood there with plates of food. "Don't worry I didn't cook it, even in all my years I haven't learnt to cook. I went out and bought it I didn't think you would need poisoning after all you've been through." I could help but laugh.

"Thank you Remus, I'm starving." I grabbed the biggest plate of food he had and walked over to the table.

"How are you feeling now?" Remus sat opposite me with a much smaller plate than mine.

"Much better I think I needed to talk to Harry. I wasn't going to be able to move on while I blamed myself for his situation. I didn't expect the whole crying like a baby thing I might need to go over and apologise for that at some point."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, now I have a day planned for us, because you deserve to be happy today ok." He just smiled, I've missed that smile.

"So you mean there is more than this wonderful food." I was excited about today.

"I thought that maybe we needed a day away from everything before we got back to business with the order."

"Do you know life would be much easier if we didn't have to deal with that bastard you-know-who." I smiled trying to make light of the whole impending situation.

"I know so I thought we should have a muggle day out, forget about the magic and all the crap that's going on at the moment."

"Oooh muggle, sounds fun where are we going?" I was very excited, I was a bit like Arthur Weasley I liked everything muggle.

"Well I spoke to Ted last night when you fell asleep and he gave me a few ideas. I think you're going to like it." He shoved a forkful of food in to his mouth. "Now eat up we have a long day ahead of us you'll need your strength."

"Yes sir." I saluted him and ate the food so quickly I gave myself hiccups. It was so frustrating Remus wouldn't tell me where we were going no matter how much I asked him or tried to bribe him. "Come on Remus how am I supposed to apparate there if I don't know where we are going?"

"Don't worry I have that all planned out." He had a slight glint in his eye that I didn't like. "We are going to side-long apparate to our destination."

"To our destination." I said in a mocking voice. "You sound like some sort of army general."

"Well if you're going to mock me like that maybe we won't go after all." He put a mock hurt look on his face.

"Oh I'm sorry, I really want to go." I had a huge grin on my face. After organising the muggle money and packing a few essentials we were ready to go. "Come on Remus where are we going?"

"I'm not going to tell you you're just going to have to wait and see." Suddenly I felt that familiar tugging sensation of apparition. The next thing I saw was a field, hmm, a field is this Remus' big surprise? I think that cow is staring at us, do cows charge?

"Erm Remus what are we doing in a cow field?"

"Well we couldn't exactly apparate straight there with all the muggles they wouldn't know what's hit them." He grabbed my hand and started to walk towards the edge of the field.

"At least I know that, I was worried this was the surprise." I was quite relieved we weren't going to be spending the afternoon in a field. Apart from the obvious animals don't like me and I would probably come home injured if we did. We to the edge of the field and I had to scramble over a wall to get out as I did I managed to hook my foot on a stone. I nearly fell flat on my face but Remus caught me and stood me back up.

"Come one this way."

"Right this is certainly one way of making me forget about everything by getting me to traipse across the English countryside."

"Right here we are." Remus said after a twenty minute walk. I could see hundreds of people heading towards these tall towers with massive metal carts running around on tracks.

"What is this place?" I was completely confused by this.

"Your dad told me it was called a theme park he said something about Alton Towers, not quite sure what that means, but it might be something to do with those things over there." He pointed towards where the people were going. We got in to the queue with everybody else. I took control of the money as I had got used to using muggle money when I was working at the bar.

"Right then let's have a go on one of these cart things. What was it that Ted called it?" He stood there in deep thought for a couple of moments. "I think he called it a rollercoaster." We headed towards this one called Nemesis it went upside down.

"Are you sure you're ok about going on this thing?" I asked him I didn't know if Remus was up to this sort of thing.

"Yep don't worry I've been through worse." He said smiling towards me.

"Thank you Remus this is brilliant." I kissed him on the cheek, I couldn't believe it. We just stood there for a moment before I grabbed him by the hand and we got on to the rollercoaster. It was so much fun even better than riding a broom, going up and down with the wind in your hair.

"That was a bit different." Remus said as we walked down the ramp from the ride.

"It was so much fun, I think we should get one of those photographs, I don't think they move but we should have one."

"We'll get one from every ride if you want." It was the most fun day I have ever had rollercoasters are the best things ever!

"Remus we have to do that again it was the most fun thing I have ever done." I pulled him in for a kiss and for once he didn't push me away. In fact he put his arms around me to draw me in closer this was definitely the best day ever.


	16. Wedding time

It had been one perfect month since Remus and I had got back together and he was even coming out in public with me today. It was my friend Ami's wedding this afternoon it was a muggle wedding because she was one, but Pete and his family are witches and wizards. I was looking forward to it as I'd never been to a mixed marriage before so it would be interesting.

I'd known Ami since we were little because my dad was friends with her dad from a very young age. I felt quite proud today because I had introduced Ami to Pete, it was about the only successful thing i had ever done.

"You nearly ready Remus?" I walked in to the bedroom where Remus had been for the past hour. I have no idea what he had been doing there. He's not exactly the metro type, perhaps he fell asleep.

"Yeah I just have to put my shoes on." He said as I came through the door.

"Have you been putting your make-up on in here, because I've never known a man to take so long to get ready."

"No I was just trying on the suit it's been a long time since I've had something this new. You know you didn't have to buy this for me." He said still looking at himself in the mirror.

"Yes I did, I know how self-conscious you get about your old clothes and I wanted you to feel good today." I walked over and put my hands around his middle. "Plus I think you look very sex, in fact you might just have to go about taking that off right now."

"As much as I would love to, but I think we are running very late." He turned to face me gave me a quick kiss on the lips and walked over to the bed to put his shoes on. His clothes were on the chair next to it as he had been staying at mine for the past few days.

"Well for once it's not my fault I have been ready for ages."

"And you look gorgeous Tonks." He said with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Are you trying to butter me up so that I will forget that it took you hours to get ready?"

"No I would never do that." He gave me another quick kiss before he grabbed my hand and we finally left. I would never get tired of his kisses. We are getting a taxi to the wedding as it wouldn't look good apparating in with muggles there and there was no way that I was hiking across the countryside again in a dress. I didn't often wear dresses and I wanted to actually look good in one not turn up looking like I had been dragged through a hedge.

I sat with my two friends Esmelda, Sarah and their partners. They were both very eager to meet Remus, because no one outside of the order had met him in relation to me.

"Hey thanks for saving us a seat." I said getting sat down as soon as possible. None of us were bridesmaids as Ami's mum had chosen them for her. She didn't know that Pete's family were magical Ami is waiting until they are married and have at least one child because then she will be less likely to try and break them up.

"What took you so long to get here?" Esmelda whispered.

"Remus was getting ready." Remus' face went slightly red.

"Is this Remus?"

"Yes, Remus this is my friend Esmelda and this is Sarah." He smiled graciously at them both when the pipes suddenly sounded. I got such a fright I nearly slid off the pew. Ami looked beautiful she look so happy too. It was nice to get some distraction from the whole Voldemort debacle we had spent a lot of time in the past moth chasing around death eaters and checking up on Harry. I still hadn't got over Sirius' death, but I was coping much better now. The service lasted about an hour and we made our way to the reception. I was sat with Ami, Esmelda and Sarah while Remus was sat with their partners. He seemed quite comfortable it wouldn't be too bad for him as they were all wizards so he wouldn't have to try and invent a life for himself.

"So how are you and Remus going?" Ami inquired.

"It's going great he has been such a gentleman this past month."

"He's not your normal type of guy." Sarah looked over towards where he was sat.

"You mean he's not Charlie."

"Well even after Charlie you dated similar guys you know that big strong type of guy." She added.

"Remus is different I really do love him."

"He certainly is different." Esmelda chimed in.

"Come on guys, give him a chance he is a great guy." They seemed to leave it be after that, but I knew they weren't exactly big fans of Remus. I knew what they meant he wasn't my normal type of guy. I had date Charlie for a while after school and then dated a string of meat-heads after that.

We said our goodbyes and decided to apparate back to my flat there was no point in us getting a taxi back.

"That was such a good day, Ami look so happy and so beautiful." I said smiling as I walked through the front door. Remus seemed to be quite quiet and he just walked straight in to the bedroom. I wasn't sure whether to follow him in or leave him to his own devices. Eventually after what was probably only seconds of indecision I decided to follow him.

"Remus are you ok." I stopped in my tracks when I saw him packing all of his clothes in to his trunk. "Remus what are you doing?"

"Nymphadora I don't think this is going to work, I think it's best if you just leave me to pack by myself." He was wondering around the room picking up various items of clothing.

"Remus what has got in to you? We were fine this morning and now suddenly this. Hasn't this past month meant anything?" I grabbed him by the arm and turned him around. By this time I was crying I couldn't help it I just was. Remus just seemed to have this stern look permanently plastered across his face which just made this worse. He didn't seem to care what this is doing to me.

"Didn't you see all those people looking at me? We don't fit together and you know it. Everybody in that room thought you were crazy for going out with me and do you know what I do to."

"You think I'm crazy?" I was hurt by this last accusation.

"I think you're crazy for going out with someone like me. I mean you're young and beautiful and I'm old and poor..."

"Not this old and poor crap again Remus; turn off the record. Can't you see that I love you? I am old enough to make my own decisions and I don't think I am wasting my life with you. If you are going to think like that again then maybe you should leave." I was stunned by this last comment but it liberated me slightly I was not going to ask him to stay because i knew it was useless. So the best thing to do was get rid of him immediately. "Go on get out of my flat and hurry up with it."

"Well thank you for seeing it my way Nymphadora."

"You have absolutely no right to call me Nymphadora and I am most certainly not seeing it your way I am just too tired to fight for you again Remus." With that I walked in to the kitchen eyes still streaming with tears. I tried to pour myself a glass of water but my hand was shaking too much and it fell on the floor and smashed. I knew Remus was going to come out to see what the noise was and I just couldn't cope with seeing him again so I apparated to the burrow. I walked the short distance from my apparition point to the front door.

"Tonks what are you... come on sit down and I'll get you something to drink." Charlie brought me in to the house and guided me to a chair. The more the realisation sank of what had just happened the less I could function. Charlie put the glass in front of me but I didn't move to pick it up at all. In fact I hadn't even taken in that Charlie was back from Romania and was sitting on the opposite side of the table to me. "Tonks are you ok?" He continued looking concerned about me.

"He left me." Was all I could force out for a whole hour. "Remus has gone again I don't know why I believe this time could be different."


	17. Getting over it

I spent the next week at the Weasley's, because Molly wouldn't let me go home for fear of me finishing myself off. I actually enjoyed it spending time with them cheered me up especially Fred and George with their tricks. I certainly didn't go hungry Molly kept handing me plates full of food at regular intervals, but I was ready to go home I needed to get back to normal so I was packing my clothes to go to my flat. Molly had sent Charlie to get me some clothes in case you're wondering what I'm actually packing. It was weird seeing Charlie again we hadn't spoken in a couple of years. We had been best friends in school and had dated for a while after we left until he went to Romania. I tried my best to keep in contact with him while he was away, but it was difficult.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer Tonks? You're not imposing you know the kids love having you here and Charlie likes having you here too." Molly had been pushing Charlie at me since I had come over. I don't know if she wanted me to get over Remus or if she just wanted grandkids.

"I'm fine Molly I just need to get back to normal really." I smiled at her while I continued to throw clothes in to a bag.

"Well make sure that you come over for dinner I know that you don't do much cooking. I can't have you going hungry now can I. In fact I will do you some sandwiches for lunch so you don't have to worry about getting any food."

"Thanks Molly." I said as she disappeared down the stairs.

"She means well I think." Charlie laughed as he came in to the room. This was actually his room he had been sleeping on the couch all week.

"I know you're a lucky boy having a mum like that." I pointed at him.

"Boy? You know I'm no boy." Charlie leant against the door frame.

"Well Mr. Man can have his room back now because I'm going home."

"I know I heard you talking to mum. You sure you're ready to go home?" He closed the door and walked towards me.

"I wish people would stop asking me that. I am fine I just need to get back to normal now."

"Well it's been nice having you here all week even if you have been a bit quieter than usual. It's been far too long since we last spoke. I am here for a bit longer so we will have to do some proper catching up yeah?"

"Definitely, you can't get rid of that easily this time." I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I went downstairs.

"Right here are some sandwiches I made a couple of different kinds, because I didn't know what you wanted. They should keep you for a couple of days." She handed me a pile of sandwiches wrapped in paper.

"Thank you so much Molly you've been so kind this past week." I hugged her trying not to cry. I had been a bit emotional all week, to be quite honest I had been a complete wretch to be around since I arrived. I'm surprised Molly hadn't finished me off herself.

"Now you are coming over for dinner after you finish work tomorrow ok, I won't take no for an answer." She put her hand on my shoulders.

"I guess I can't say no then." I smiled one of the few genuine smiles I had made all week. I walked out in to the garden and apparated home. The place was exactly the same since I had left it a week ago. I went about tidying the place to try and scrub any memories of Remus away from the flat. I needed to get rid of him from the flat if I was going to get over this.

I went to bed early as I wanted to appear a fresh as possible when I went to work the next day even if I did feel like crap.

"Tonks it's good to see you." Michael said as I went to my desk the next morning. "Where've you been all week Kingsley won't tell me."

"Sorry I've had a bit of a rough week Kingsley said I should stay at home. I think he thought I might accidentally injure someone in the state I was in."

"Sorry to hear it. You feeling better now though?"

"Better enough to get back to work. I need to just get back to normal really." I started to pick up the papers that had accumulated on my desk.

"Do you mind if I ask you what happened. You don't have to answer if it's too intrusive."

"It's ok I broke up with my boyfriend. I know it sounds a bit lame, but it kinda knocked me for six"

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend. I'm a bit stupid really should have known a pretty girl like you." Michael babbled slightly going a bit red at his last comment.

"Well I don't any more it's probably best to forget I had one altogether."

"I have something then that might help you forget. Kingsley wants me to go to a house and make sure there are no spells on it before anybody goes in. A neighbour found a Ms. Andretti dead in her living room when they went to water the plants. They think she may have been killed by a death eater looking for something important. So they want us to check it out before investigators can go in."

"Right let's go." I grabbed my coat and wand glad to have a bust day to keep me distracted.

I did as Molly told me the day before and went to the Burrow for dinner. I wasn't complaining it meant I didn't have to make a doomed attempt at cooking my own. Unfortunately Remus had also been invited and had taken it up. He was sitting at the table when I got there.

"Hi Arthur" I said as he brought me in to the house. "Good day at the office?"

"Well it's certainly been much busier since the return of you-know-who. People are using all sorts to do all sorts."

"Tonks come and sit here." Ginny said once I was in eye shot." I spent the whole dinner talking to the kids trying to avoid Remus' gaze. I wish I had made an effort to try and show him what he's missing, but I have to admit I looked like crap. My hair looked a state and I had baggy clothes on not very attractive really. Fortunately he left quickly after dinner claiming he had something to do for Dumbledore.

"I'm sorry that Remus was here dad invited him." Charlie sat where Ginny had been sitting.

"It's ok I was going to have to see him some time."

"How was your first day back at work?"

"It was ok we had to..." I was interrupted by Harry Potter coming in to the house. It was then I noticed the time. "Molly I should head home. Thank you for the lovely dinner." With that I left the burrow again.

It wasn't long before I saw Harry again in slightly stranger circumstances. I had been stationed up at Hogsmead and was making sure nothing happened while the children were making their way to the school.

"Wotcher, Harry." I said finding him buried under his invisibility cloak on the Hogwarts express. It had been a long time since I'd been on this train; it brought me back to my school days. I snapped out of my trance and freed Harry so he could move again.

"Come on, we'll jump." We leapt off the train on to the platform before it vanished off towards London. "Who did that to you?" I asked knowing what the answer would be.

"Draco Malfoy." He confirmed my suspicions. "Thanks for that."

"No problem; now let me fix that nose." It looked like he had been attacked too. "Right put your cloak on while we walk to the castle." I sent a Patronus to let Dumbledore we were on our way. I had noticed it had become a lot like Remus and I didn't know how to change it. It managed to depress me even more every time I saw it.

We made our way towards the castle mostly in silence with Harry under the cloak making me look like I was talking to myself.

"So are you on your own down in Hogsmead?" Harry tried to start up a conversation.

"Erm no Dawlish, Proudfoot and Savage are here too."

"Isn't Dawlish the arour Dumbledore attacked last year?"

"Yep." I wasn't really interested in making conversation these days. I was surprised when I saw Snape come to the gates; I had meant Hagrid to get my Patronus. "Good bye Harry" I said as they walked towards the castle. I traipsed back to Hogsmead for another conversation full of quidditch. I wish guys could talk about something else for once.


	18. Charlie

I was getting ready to go to my friends Esmelda's house for lunch; it was the first time I had seen any of my friends since Remus so unceremoniously dumped me. They didn't know that yet and were eager to know our current status. I had given myself a couple of drinks before I got ready because I was so embarrassed that he had dumped me, when my friends said that I was too good for him. I had spent the past couple of weeks at the Burrow, as Molly was keen to make sure I was well fed. Well fed I was, most of the time I couldn't breathe for the amount of food she gave me. I was glad for the company though, even if Remus did turn up occasionally.

Finally I was ready to go; a little bit drunk I apparated to the front door of the house. I had managed to misjudge it slightly and I arrived much closer to the front door than I had anticipated. My nose was now pressed up against the knocker. The surprise of the doors proximity caused me to lose my balance; and I fell straight backwards down the steps.

"Tonks what are you doing down there?" Esmelda said opening the door to see me sprawled across the pavement.

"Well my feet were tired so you know it was the best thing I could think of." I said pulling myself off the ground.

"Ami and Sarah are already here." We made our way towards her living room. "So eh how are you and lover boy doing?"

"Do you have to call him that?" The term lover boy didn't really seem right for Remus. "Anyway, me and him broke up. He dumped me obviously you got it wrong and I wasn't good enough for him."

"I'm sure that's not true, did he actually say why he wanted to end it?"

"He gave me some bollocks about being too old." We had stopped in the hall now and were standing outside the living room door.

"Well maybe he has a point; there was quite a considerable age gap between you two."

"I'm old enough to decide for myself you know; it's not like I'm a child. I can look after myself and I have a job." I was annoyed that she had sided with Remus on the issue.

"I know I'm sorry Tonks, let's forget about it. I'm sure you'll find a new man soon anyway." She opened the door and we walked through to find my other two friends sitting down on chairs.

"Hey Tonks, how are you doing?" Ami made her way over to hug me. "How's Remus doing?" I could see Esmelda glaring at Ami and making a shut up motion with her hands. "Erm, glad you made it over." She blushed and hugged me.

"So how is married life treating you? How was the honeymoon, you need to give us the details." I said trying to change the subject before I hugged Sarah.

"Oh, it's wonderful." Ami began as she sat down. "Pete has been great. The honeymoon was amazing; we barely left the hotel. At least we saved on air fare with Pete being a wizard and all."

It was nice finally being with people who could take my mind off things; they weren't going to treat me like I was some fragile person who could burst in to tears at any moment. I had cried a lot over the past few weeks, but I didn't want people treating me like a ticking time bomb.

"So Tonks is there anyone who has caught your eye recently? Any one night stands?" Sarah turned to me after Ami had finished telling us about her honeymoon.

"You know my one night stand thing is in the past, I haven't had one since I ended up with that muggle who still lived with his mother." The others laughed as they remembered having to try and sneak me out of the house. "I have been talking to Charlie recently though so you never know."

"Since when have you been speaking to Charlie?" Esmelda looked surprised. I hadn't told them about my renewed friendship with Charlie and they knew I hadn't spoken to him in a couple of years.

"Well it's quite embarrassing really, but he answered the door to me when I turned up crying after Remus and I broke up. Plus Molly keeps inviting me over for dinner, because she thinks I'm not in a state to cook for myself."

"You can't cook for yourself in any state." Ami laughed.

"I know, but she doesn't know that." We all laughed together. Too soon it was time to leave, I had work in the afternoon and we were busy. I said my goodbyes and apparated to the Ministry.

"Afternoon Michael, anyone died since I left." I know it was a slightly morbid greeting, but it was the only way I could cope with so many people I know dying left, right and centre.

"Tonks, you know I don't like it when you talk like that." Michael looked up at me.

"I know, but every time I come in to work someone else seems to have been killed."

"Well, you'll be happy to know that in your lunch hour there have been a grand total of no deaths."

"That is good to know." I smiled at him; we had this conversation most days. Michael always tried to be as optimistic as possible. We worked away in mostly silence, with occasional comment passed between each other. It was one of our quietest days, but I didn't expect to have many of those as we moved closer to this impending war.

"Are you doing anything nice this evening?" Michael broke the silence as I started packing my things away.

"I'm off to a friend's house for dinner."

"Haven't you been to this friend's house everyday this week?"

"Well, she knows I am completely incapable of cooking for myself." I gave him a smile as I made my way towards to door. "See you tomorrow, have a good night." I was now off to have my second meal of the day cooked for me. I was beginning to get used to this, I had hardly bought any food for myself in three weeks.

I could smell the food from the garden, which made my stomach rumble. I was hungry, although it had been a quiet day at work I still hadn't left until eight; so I was rather hungry.

"Good evening Tonks." I heard from behind me, after my stomach had made a second rumble.

"Hi Remus, are you coming for dinner?" Why did he have to be here? I was having a good day.

"You know Molly; she likes to look after everyone." Remus smiled as we made our way towards the house. Once we were sat down for dinner I made sure that I sat as far away from Remus as possible. I was surprised to be sat next to Charlie as he was supposed to have left for Romania earlier that day.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he sat down.

"Well nice to see you too."

"I'm sorry; I just thought you were supposed to be in Romania right now."

"Mum convinced me to stay, she says she wants to see as much of me as possible with Voldemort on the rise again." He glanced over at Molly while giving his answer.

"Well, I'm glad you're staying. I've liked our chats since you came back."

"Seeing as you like our little chats so much, and now that I'm staying a bit longer I was wondering if maybe we could go out on a date or something. You don't have to say yes though." Charlie had spoken quietly so his brother Bill, who was sat next to him, didn't hear what he had to say.

"I don't know I mean it's been good since you came back." I caught a glimpse of Remus, who was sat at the other end of the table. "I...


	19. The Date

"I don't know I mean it's been good since you came back." I caught a glimpse of Remus, who was sat at the other end of the table. "I would love to." Remus was never going to accept us, so I was going to move on with my life.

"Thank god for that. For a second I thought you were going to say no. I was getting ready to die of embarrassment." Charlie smiled, I remember that smile. It used to make me go weak at the knees, this could work; I convinced myself.

"Do you have anywhere in particular in mind?"

"We will have to see." I was excited the thought of a date with someone who would actually like me to be there momentarily wiped my mind of any thoughts of Remus.

"I don't think you should tell your mum thought. She will be planning our wedding and our children's names if you're not careful." I laughed at the thought. I think children of mine and Charlie's would turn out crazy, who would know what colour hair they would have? Dinner was much easier from then on.

Before I had a chance to leave Dumbledore came walking through the door of the Burrow.

"Good evening Albus, how lovely to see you. Would you like something to eat? Pumpkin pasty perhaps." Molly was at the entrance like a shot. It amazed me how quickly she moved, for a plump woman, sometimes.

"No thank you Molly, it is just a passing visit. I wondered if I could speak to Nymphadora." Dumbledore was the only person who wasn't afraid to say Nymphadora. I don't think he feared any wrath I could muster up. I supposed though, if you weren't afraid to say Voldemort, Nymphadora was a bit of a doddle.

"Oh yes, she over there." She gestured towards me. I worried about what he wanted to talk to me about.

"Ah Miss Tonks, you look much more like yourself these days. I'm glad to see it."

"Thank you." I blushed slightly at the comment.

"I have spoken to Dawlish and he is already in Hogsmead" Dumbledore's voice was now hushed to ensure that no one could hear. "I apologise for the lateness of this, but I need you to join him there. I am travelling away from the castle for important work so I need some extra protection. It is imperative that between the two of you there is a twenty-four-hour protection on Hogwarts.

"The Death Eaters are getting more daring and I fear there may be an attack. I need you to take up this post immediately. You must return to your home gather as much as you can and go directly. Madam Rosmerta has prepared a room for you. I don't want people to worry, so keep this as quiet as possible."

"Ok." Dumbledore had a slight fear in his voice; I had never heard this in him.

"Thank you for your understanding. I must be off Molly, thank you kindly for your hospitality." His voice was no at normal level again.

Everyone's gaze switched to me once he had left the house. I stood there for a moment slightly uncomfortable by the attention I was suddenly getting.

"I need to go as well. Thank you Molly for the lovely dinner; Charlie can I speak to you outside." I walked out into the garden with a bemused Charlie following me.

"I'm sorry Charlie, but I think I will have to postpone our date. I have to go somewhere right now, I hope you understand."

"Where do you have to go?" Charlie still looked slightly confused.

"I have to go to Hogsmead; Dumbledore wants twenty-four-hour protection on the school. He thinks there might be a Death Eater attack soon. I'm sorry, but I have to go right now." I made towards the edge of the garden when his hand dragged me back.

"Tonks, just before you go." He pulled me in for a kiss, with the taste of his lips still on mine I apparated to my flat. I grabbed as many items of clothes I could shove it the bag I found under my bed, which was not a lot I discovered. I apparated straight to Hogsmead once I was ready; Rosmerta was waiting for me when I arrived.

"Come on dear, I have a room for you." She took me by the arm and showed me to my room. I had only been in there moments when I heard a knock on my door. Dawlish was standing on the other side looking seriously tired.

"Hi Tonks, you just arrived?" He said stepping in to my room.

"Yeah, how long have you been here?"

"A little over a day, I'm glad you're here now." He rubbed his eyes until they turned red. "I know you have only just got her, but could you do this shift and watch the castle? It's just I haven't slept since I've been here and I am knackered."

"Yeah that's ok you go to bed, you definitely look like you need it." I said as he nearly swallowed the room in a yawn. Guard duty was about as interesting as it had been on previous occasion, nothing much happened. I spent my day stationed outside the main gate to the Hogwarts grounds. As it was not a through-way for anyone I spoke to no one until Dawlish came to relieve me a few hours later.

"I'll see you in a few hours, scream if you need me." I smiled as I walked off. I was definitely ready for bed now, but my plans were scuppered by a certain Charlie Weasley, who was sat on my bed.

"What are you doing here?"

"You need to brush up on your greeting skills Tonks." He laughed. "I thought I would bring our date to you. I know you have the mission, so I thought I would wait here until you had some off time. I brought butter beer and pancakes." He pointed to the plate and bottle on the table next to my bed.

"You know I'm not supposed to drink on the job." I grinned as I sat down next to him.

"Technically you're not on the job as it's your off time."

"If you put it that way, do you have any glasses?" I knew I would have to get to bed soon, but I also knew that I wasn't going to see Charlie for a while. This mission was likely to take a while and I wouldn't have many chances to speak to friends or family.

I spent the next few hours reminiscing with Charlie about the two good years we spent as a couple, before he decided to go off to Romania and our school days at Hogwarts.

"Can you remember her face when she found it hidden in the treacle?" We both burst out laughing. Charlie and I had been the Fred and George of our time, getting ourselves in to loads of trouble.

"I should probably get to bed now. I need to be rested for my next duty. It's only me and Dawlish here at the moment."

"Ok I will drop by some other time. You are going to need more company than that. Sleep well." He moved in and kissed me for the second time in a day. This time it lasted longer, I pulled him in for more, not wanting to let him go. Before I knew it he was pushing me back on the bed, his hands running up my sides.


	20. Stop poking me!

I woke up with something jabbing me in the arm. It was the alarm I had set for my next shift, the stout man was repeatedly poking me in my arm.

"That's enough, I'm awake." I shouted at it and it immediately stopped. I looked over to the other side of the bed to see a sleeping Charlie. We hadn't had sex, but it was as good as, I hadn't had much sleep. I felt as if I had tonne weights on each eyelid. Deciding not to wake Charlie, I tried to get dressed as quietly as possible. It was all going to plan until I caught my leg in my trousers and went tumbling sideways. Fortunately Charlie was the deep sleeper that I remembered; he didn't so much as stir from the noise.

"I'm so sorry I'm late Dawlish." I rushed up to the gate. "I slept in."

"That's ok, I saw Charlie come in to the Three Broomsticks before I left." He grinned.

"We didn't, you know." I assured him.

"That's none of my business, whatever you do with Mr Weasley is up to you." He made his way from the gate.

"But we didn't." I shouted after him.

"Bye Tonks, I'm off to bed. See you later." He disappeared in to the distance and I was on my own again. I could feel my eyes drooping after only half an hour. The longer I stood there, the more appealing the ground began to look. _It won't do much harm if I sit down – _I thought to myself, big mistake. The next thing I knew I was waking up and it was pitch black. _Shit shit shit, stupid Tonks._ I jumped to my feet, brushing myself off. To my horror when I turned around to check the Hogwarts was actually still there I saw the worst possible sign any person could see. The Dark Mark was hanging over the school in all its green glory.

My heart filled with lead and proceeded to sink right down in to my shoes. Once the shock subsided I ran as fast as my legs would carry me down to the Three Broomsticks.

"What room is Dawlish in?" I shouted at Rosmerta as I barged through the door.

"Twenty-four." She spun her head as I flew past her, only just catching the numbers.

"Tonks, why are you here?" Dawlish was surprised by my presence.

"Dark Mark!" Was all I shouted, but it was all I needed to shout. Dawlish was hot on my heels as we ran towards the school, both hoping that a student hadn't died. If one had died because I had fallen asleep I don't think I could live with myself.

It seemed we weren't the only ones who had alerted to the Dark Mark. Remus, Bill and some of the kids were fending off Death Eaters. I could hear Minerva and Flitwick around the corner, it sounded like they had their hands full too.

"Over here." I shouted at a large blonde Death Eater, who was heading straight for Ginny. It seemed like hours before the Death Eaters finally left. I put my hands on my knees and breathed deeply, my whole body ached from the encounter.

We suffered casualties on both sides, but most devastatingly of all Dumbledore had been killed by Snape, who had escaped. Bill has been hurt by Fenrir Greyback and was lying up in the hospital wing. I sat there in silence with Remus until his family started to arrive.

Everybody was still reeling from the shock of Dumbledore's death; it was a lot to take in, especially the news that Snape had been the killer. I had never been a fan of his, but I had never taken him to be a killer.

"Bill, oh my God Bill. What has he done to you?" Molly came flying through the hospital doors.

"Fenrir attacked him." McGonagall looked very sombre.

"His face, what will he do now? He was supposed to be getting married." Molly

"What is zat supposed to mean?" Fleur looked indignant at Molly's comment. "You think zat jus 'cause 'e 'as been attacked I will not want to marry 'im?"

"Well er... no." Molly was lost for words. I was glad to see Fleur stick by Bill, I understood what she felt. I also felt anger build up inside of me, if it was possible for her to love Bill and stay with him, even though he had been attacked, then why couldn't I be with Remus.

The more Fleur stood u to Molly, the more inclined I felt to say something. I still loved Remus and here was proof that someone really could love a werewolf. Finally I could bare it no longer.

"You see Fleur doesn't care that Bill has been bitten, she still loves him and wants to marry him. What can't you see that we should be together?" My cheeks were slightly flushed at the sudden outburst.

"That's different though, Bill won't be a full werewolf though. It is completely different." Remus spluttered surprised by my outcry.

"You can't see that I don't care either Remus, I love you."

"I am too old and too poor, you deserve much better." Remus was shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Remus I have told you that you are being stupid about this whole thing." Molly entered in to the conversation to my surprise.

"I m not being stupid, Tonks deserves better." Remus stood his ground.

"Yes, but against her better judgement she wants you." Arthur spoke up too.

"Look I don't think we should be talking about this right now, Dumbledore has just died."

"I think Dumbledore of all people would want there to be more love in the world." Minerva took her turn. I was buoyed by the support I was getting, however, I felt sorry for Charlie who was sitting by his brother in silence.

Hagrid walked in before Remus could reply to the last comment. I couldn't bear to be in the room any longer and I made my way outside to get some fresh air and think. It had been a difficult day for everyone and I needed some time to let my thoughts roam free and not have them bullied by thoughts of Remus creeping in.


	21. Dumbledore's funeral

It had been two weeks since Dumbledore's death and I hadn't spoken to Remus or Charlie. I was too embarrassed by my display in the hospital ward; I wish I had kept my mouth shut. I decided I couldn't hide away for much longer; I had to talk to Charlie and clear the air.

I gave myself a quick once over in the mirror, I needed to look as irresistible as possible if Charlie wasn't going to hate me.

"Hi Molly, is Charlie in?" Molly had no idea her son and I had gotten intimate and then I declared my love for another man, in front of him. So she didn't hate me, well not yet.

"He is upstairs in his bedroom. I'm glad you're here, because he's hardly spoken over the past two weeks. Maybe you can persuade him to come out of his room." She had no idea.

"I don't know how well I will be able to do that. I think him staying in his room is something to do with me." I left Molly with a confused look on her face, before she had a chance to reply to my last comment.

I made my way up the stairs with my heart beating in my chest. I felt so guilty for stomping on his feelings so publicly, but I needed to let Remus know how I felt. It didn't work anyway Remus still refused to talk to me.

"Charlie, are you in there?" I knocked timidly on his door.

"Go away Tonks, you are the last person I want to speak to." His gruff reply came.

"Please Charlie I want to talk to you."

"Well you're not stepping one foot in to this room." Oh God I was going to have to sit in the hallway and explain myself, this really couldn't get much worse. I sat on the floor, leaning against the door, and began to talk.

"Look Charlie, I'm sorry for what I did in the hospital. I was feeling so emotional and I lost the run of myself." There was no reply from inside of the room so I continued talking. "I know it's no excuse. I just want you to know that I wasn't leading you on. I do really like you, it's just I am in love with Remus."

"Is that it?" finally he spoke again.

"Well er no." I was slightly put back by the comment. "I thought I could get over Remus. I mean you were the perfect opportunity, how could you not forget about someone when you're with you? You cute, sexy, very funny and you are the kindest person I know.

"It's just when I saw Fleur telling your Mother she was going to stay with Bill, even though he had been bitten. I just couldn't bear it any more, my emotions just came flying out."

To my surprise I could hear movement in the room and the door flew open, I fell backwards through the entrance and landed on my back. Laughing Charlie helped me up and closed the door behind us.

"I was stupid really to think you could get over Remus." He looked down at his shoes. "I just thought it was just too perfect that I had come home and you had just broken up with Remus. I wanted to pick up from where we left off when I went to Romania."

"You weren't stupid." I put my hand on his arm.

"Yes I was and arrogant. To think that after I left you for so long, that you wouldn't have made a life for yourself. I'm sorry to put you in that situation." He gave me a quick hug.

"You don't have to be sorry about anything, I did kinda rain on your parade in the hospital."

"That's ok, I will have to get you back for it at some point. We've both been really stupid really, haven't we?"

"I have an excuse I am stupid most of the time." I laughed, I was glad this was going well. I don't know what I would do if he decided that he hated me. "Can we please be friends?"

"I will have to think about that really. I'll get my people to call your people with an answer." He said in a mocking manner.

"Oh is that how it's going to be?" I crossed my arms.

"Well if you're up for a bit of a quickie then I might be able to give you may answer quicker."

"I don't think so Mr Weasley; I don't know where that thing has been." I pulled him in for a hug; I was so glad we were friends again. I had missed this for years.

I said good bye and apparated home, today was the day of Dumbledore's funeral and I need to get ready. I still couldn't believe that Dumbledore was dead; the world just didn't feel the same without him.

I had been to so many funerals of late that my clothes were getting worn out. I tried twice to leave the house, but twice I managed to fail. I didn't want to go to the funeral, because that would mean I had to accept he was dead.

I nearly fell over sideways by a loud popping noise in my kitchen; someone had apparated in to my flat.

"Remus what the hell are you doing here?" I found him brushing his suit off.

"I came to talk to you."

"No is definitely not the time. It's Dumbledore's funeral and I need to get going." I was angry he had come to see me now of all times.

"I need to talk to you Nymphadora, please."

"How many times have I told you not to call me Nymphadora? It's Tonks, especially to you." I felt bad, I could see the hurt in his eyes. "I have given up on trying to make you see that I love you. You finally got your way I will leave you alone. Now will you kindly leave me alone?"

"Tonks I love you, I have been stupid all this time."

"Well that's bloody obvious." I couldn't believe he was finally saying this.

"I need you Tonks, I don't know what I would do without you. Can you forgive me, please?" There was a certain amount of desperation in his voice now.

"I might be able to forgive you, but you will have to work hard at it." He suddenly launched himself at me and kissed me hard. My knees went weak and I nearly felt to the floor. Fortunately Remus' grip was tight around my waist. He kissed me like never before, there was almost a hunger in them.

"Before we go Nymphadora there is something I need to ask you about." I was so happy I glossed over the fact he had just called me Nymphadora. I nearly screamed when I saw what he did next.

"Nymphadora Tonks, would you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?" he was down on one knee and had the most beautiful ring.

"Oh my God Remus, yes of course I will." I wrapped my arms around his neck, once he stood up, and kissed him. I never wanted to stop kissing him.

I went to the Funeral hand in hand with Remus, it made everything more bearable. It was a beautiful funeral and I cried until I thought my throat would give way.


	22. Epilogue

I stood, staring in the mirror. Today was my wedding day. I was marrying the love of my life Remus John Lupin and I couldn't wait!

"Tonks if you keep staring at the mirror you're going to burn a hole in it." Sarah one of my bridesmaids said.

"It's just I've never looked this pretty, I can't believe this is actually me." I said turning to face her.

"Well believe it. You're going to knock him dead." She smiled and hugged me. I was so nervous about the wedding, I still couldn't believe that I was getting married. I Nymphadora Tonks was going to be a grown up, mature, married woman.

"Right I think everyone is ready." Esmelda came running excitedly over towards me. "Come on Tonks, let's show 'em what you're made of."

I walked down the aisle to see all my friends and family sitting there. Remus was stood at the altar, he looked so handsome.

"You look gorgeous." He smiled to me when I got to the front.

"You don't look too bad yourself." The ceremony seemed to go by too fast. I wanted to drink it all in, but it just flew past.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride." The priest spoke the best words I have ever heard. I kiss Remus Lupin hard, I was never going to let him go again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That is how I Nymphadora Lupin (Nee Tonks) got my man. I'm now a mum, I named our little bundle of joy Teddy. I can't look after him anymore, but he with friends and family. Remus and I stuck our vows, 'until death do us part' I am so glad I found him. We are proud everyday to see our son grow up and become a great wizard.


End file.
